


Soul Camp

by Isabunny



Category: Fall Out Boy, My Chemical Romance, Panic! at the Disco, Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Antisocial Gerard, Anxiety, Cutting, Kind Josh, M/M, Nature n stuff, Panic Attacks, Sassy sweet Ryan, Selectively mute, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, Social butterfly Mikey, Summer campish, complicated things, cool classes, meet your soulmate at camp, not really - Freeform, promised happy ending, sad stuff, soulmate camp
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-06
Updated: 2015-10-09
Packaged: 2018-04-19 07:48:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 20
Words: 22,481
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4738373
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Isabunny/pseuds/Isabunny
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Soulmates. The special people destined to have an other half. Unique humans that have a greater connection to nature and a love for everything. That's a soulmate. So when the Soul Camp opens, teenagers sign up everywhere, hoping their soulmate will be there. Gerard is hoping too, but nothing is ever that simple.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Introduction

**Author's Note:**

> Hello friendlies it is I, Bella, who can't stop writing fanfiction.
> 
> This is a bit of background knowledge you need for the story.

In the forest, somewhere in the west, there is this village. A big village, full of people. People who are kind and welcoming, even to those who are cruel. This village is full of life. Animals roam freely, not fearing the nice humans. Plants grow everywhere. Vines covering house walls, flowers in every yard. The village takes car of its nature, so in return, nature takes care of the village. That's how it's always been. Now is no different. People running around, going to gather herbs or feed the wild chickens. Somehow, people don't run into each other. They both and weave and no one collides. When they do, there's only one reason. They're soulmates.

Soulmates aren't a rare thing in the village. Children born with empty wrists, and a word appears one day. A word in the most beautiful cursive, twisting and curling. Even the most odd of words look spectacular when written as a soul word. These words are amazing. They are any and every. Every language, category, and spelling you could imagine. Only the true soul mate has the correct match of the word. Many words are common, and people believe they have found their other half. They haven't. They have found a person, _a_ soul mate, but not theirs. When you meet your true soul mate, your wrist comes to life. All the imperfections surrounding the black ink disappear. In the spot where there was a beautiful black word, there would now be a gorgeous golden match.

There are however, people in the world who are not soulmates. People who's soul mate has died, or never existed. They are left with empty wrists, and a secret hatred for those who are lucky enough to have the small print. Some turn to their hate, lying in it and letting it soak. It is those who have left the soulmates alone. While people of the village are still know kind and treat them with respect, there is a certain way they speak to soulmates. Very politely, very slowly. In the crowd which rushes around, soulmates do not have to weave their way through. They can walk in a straight path, and everyone else around them will move.

Soulmates love nature more than most. They love the wildlife around them and the animals that survive. They are connected to the earth, deeply inside its heart. So when they choose to move to the outside of the village to be closer to nature, no one objects. Even soulmates who's words have not appeared are still drawn to the greenery surrounding them. They wish to live away, in the plants, never having to return to the judgement of others. Sadly, it is not that easy.

Soulmates are criticised for not being the most perfect person, for not being perfect for their other half.

The people who say these things are wrong. While they don't think the soul mate is perfect for their half, they are. They may be dysfunctional, but that's what their half may need. It's balance, and people do not understand that.

All soulmates want is to find their other half and never leave them.

And the Soul Camp was created. A place for those who are outcasts, or wish to have a better nature connection, or wish to find their soul mate, or wish to get away from the world. Soul Camp is the place for soulmates to meet. The Soul Camp is in the forest, deeper than civilization. Once you reach it, you never want to leave. The beauty of the place is unimaginable. The flowers tall and vibrant, and the plants a luscious green. Animals roam even more than they do at the village, coming near the people and rubbing against them. People here are accepting. Soul mate or not, they love everyone and want the best for the students.

So here the soulmates are, ready to meet their halves. Waiting while going to classes. Waiting in their dreams. And new batches of students join, and with every batch more and more soul mates are sad. Not this batch, they think. Not my soul mate. But then one batch comes and someone sparks your curiosity. They show you your wrists, and you show them yours, and they match. And you have your soul mate. And life is complete.

But this is not a fairytale, and this does not always happen. Someone's soul mate may exist, but never show up. They may never come to the Soul Camp, and they may never meet their half. All you have is hope.


	2. The Story Begins!

Gerard had woken up on Monday. It was a normal Monday, nothing special about it. Except when he walked into the kitchen. He walked in, seeing Mikey first.

Gerard's brother Mikey, who was barely sixteen, was drinking tea while bouncing on his heels.

In a fluid movement, Gerard grabbed his tea, taking a sip. It was just how Gerard liked it.

Mikey whined loudly and Gerard frowned. He held the mug with both hands. Tipping it back, he finished what was left in the cup. When he brought the cup down, Mikey was staring at Gerard, a wide smile on his face.

"You've had enough tea then," Gerard said, putting the cup in the sink. Mikey was still staring.

"That's not it," Mikey said quietly.

"What is it then? Obviously, it's something!" Gerard made a gesture with his hands, pausing when he thought he saw something.

It was something.

There, in cursive, was his word. The word on both of his wrists, determining who he was supposed to spend his life with. _That_ word. It was gorgeous, lots of curls and loops. And a lovely word in itself. The word was 'Chemical'.

Gerard then noticed Mikey, who was holding his own wrists out frantically. Mikey's wrists were also decorated with a word, his being 'Doldrums'. Whatever that meant.

"Mom!" Gerard yelled. He had to tell his mother, who had been waiting for this for years.

"What, Gerard? Are you okay? Did something- Oh," she stopped when she saw their wrists. She then out her hand over her mouth and started to cry.

"Oh my god!" She said, grabbing her camera. She always kept it on the counter, just in case.

She took a lot of photos, of them together, separate, just their wrists, just their faces. After their photo shoot was down, they were ready to sleep.

"Do you want to go to the Soul Camp?" Their mom asked as they walked out. Gerard turn around.

"What?"

"Soul Camp, a camp for soul mates. Do you want to go?" She asked again.

Mikey immediately nodded, but Gerard wasn't sure. What if he never met his soul mate, or they never showed up?

"Gerard? What do you think?"

Gerard shrugged, and thought for a moment. There was a great chance to meet his soul mate, or even just make friends.

"Yeah," he nodded, "I'll go."

Mikey made a squeaking noise at the words, dragging Gerard to his room.

"I need to talk to you," Mikey said in a sing-song voice. "So, well, I'm gay."

Gerard nodded.

"I knew that. So am I," Gerard added.

Mikey nodded.

"I knew that. Okay, now that that's cleared up, aren't you excited? You're gonna meet your soul mate!"

"I _might_ ," Gerard corrected. "It's not a guarantee."

"I know, but we've always been lucky. Now is no different. You will meet your soul mate, so will I."

Gerard hummed in agreement before getting up.

"I'm going to go to my room to pack," he stated. Mikey smiled and Gerard walked slowly.

They accepted new soulmates as soon as they got their word, so there was no waiting.

Gerard took less time to pack than Mikey. He only had to bring clothes and a couple quills and books.

Mikey, however, was bringing a bunch of books and drawings, so it took much longer.

By the time they were packed, it was already early afternoon.

"Do you want to go tomorrow instead boys?"

"Yes," Gerard said, just as Mikey said,

"No."

Their mom raised her eyebrows.

"Okay then, come to and agreement and then tell me," she said, walking back inside.

Gerard and Mikey stared at each other for a bit, both stubborn in their decisions.

"Let's go today, Gee, please," Mikey finally broke his silence. Gerard shook his head. " _Please_ ," Mikey tried again. "I think they're getting and batch of people today, too."

"How do you know that?" Gerard asked.

"Every tenth day of the month they do, I read it in the newspaper. Two or three kids come at a time," Mikey shrugged.

"No. Tomorrow."

"No, Gee, today!"

"Tomorrow."

"Today!"

"Tomorrow."

"Today!"

"Today."

"Today! Hurrah!" Mikey ran to their mother's room.

Gerard sighed, staring at that one word that could possibly be the end of him.

"Okay boys, let's go!" His mother came into the room with watery eyes, and Gerard knew how much she would cry.

Silently, Gerard and Mikey walked outside. She let out a sob and both boys reached out to comfort her.

It took ten minutes to get her calm enough to walk in a straight line, but they did eventually. The walk was short, twenty minutes at most.

Gerard and Mikey had been careful to avoid stepping on saplings and flowers. Their mother couldn't see past the tears.

As soon as the gate was visible, their mother hugged them.

"Be good, to others, yourself, and your soul mate. Love everyone. I love you," with a kiss on the head each, the brothers began walking to the gates.

"Hello, who are you?" A guard asked.

The brothers showed their wrists.

"Gerard Way," Gerard said.

"Mikey Way," his brother said.

The guard nodded, allowing them in.

When they stepped in, they were in awe. Teens their age surrounded them, black and gold lining their wrists.

"Hi! You two are new arrivals?" A man in a fedora asked.

"Yes," Gerard said.

"Lucky you! We've got a batch of two coming in as well! Perfect!" I'm Patrick, one of the teachers," Patrick smiled extending his hand.

Mikey shook it, but Gerard stared at it.

"Okay then," Patrick laughed nervously.

They walked for a bit until they reach what looked like a small cottage.

"This is your cabin. You will be housed with... Ah! Hold on," Patrick reached into his small bag, pulling out a book. "Josh and Ryan. Those are your roommates."

"Okay," Gerard nodded.

Patrick opened the door. It was quite roomy with four beds, a bathroom, and a small kitchen area.

"Please refrain from cooking for the first few weeks before the plants and medicine teacher clears you for knowing how to boil," Patrick smiled. Gerard and Mikey nodded.

"Patrick!" Someone called from outside.

"Ray! You've got Josh and Ryan?" Patrick yelled out the door.

"Yes! You found someone else I assume?"

"Brothers!"

"Ah! Okay," a man with a wild aero poked his head inside.

Two guys followed him in, both looking nervous.

"Tomorrow, we will sort out your classes, but after that, you will go to each and every class you have. Capiche?" Ray asked. Everyone nodded.

"Okay, we'll leave you alone now," Patrick left with a wave.

Gerard was now left in the awkward silence. It I was broken by Mikey, who shouted,

"Corner bed is mine!"

The other boys made noises of disagreement, but they each chose a bed.

Gerard was left with the one next to Mikey, so he walked over slowly. The guy who sat on the bed next to him had curly brown hair and was tall and skinny.

"Well, I'm Mikey," Mikey once again broke the silence.

"Josh," the other guy, the one with red hair, said.

"Ryan," Brown haired said.

Gerard noticed everyone was staring at him.

"Gerard," he mumbled.

"How old is everyone?" Josh asked the group.

"I'm fifteen," Mikey said helplessly.

"Sixteen," Ryan said.

"Seventeen," Josh added.

"Eighteen," Gerard muttered.

He refused to actually form words and speak.

"Okay then, nice to meet you all. I'll meditating somewhere. If I'm not back by dark tell Ray, and he'll find me. Have a nice night, everybody," Ryan said as he sauntered outside.

"Bye Ryan," Mikey said. Ryan waved and left.

Gerard sighed, curling into the bed.

They didn't seem that bad.

Maybe he _would_ meet this soul mate.


	3. Classes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow the hits and kudos already! Guys!! <3 <3 <3
> 
> I don't even know the POV of this is super weird I tried to keep it Gerard but it's more third person omniscient than limited (o. o)
> 
> 4 Types of Scary chapter 1 is finally up!

Gerard woke to a bang on the door.

"Breakfast in ten!" Patrick's voice was loud, and Gerard thought he could be a good singer.

"Ten! I can't get ready in ten minutes!" Ryan said, his voice thick with sleep as he jumped up.

Josh snorted, pulling on skinny jeans and a shirt.

"I'm ready," he said with a smile.

Ryan continued to run around, finding his clothes. Gerard grabbed the first thing he could find, quickly putting it on and curling back on his bed.

Mikey was groaning, refusing to get up.

"Mikey, you have like three minutes, you should get up," Ryan warned and Mikey stood up.

Gerard was jealous. If he had said that, Mikey would've thrown something and gone back to sleep.

"Breakfast boys! Now!" Even though Patrick was across camp, they could still he a him. "Everyone! Come on! I know Tuesdays suck, but _hurry up!_ "

Mikey sighed, hopping to the door with one shoe on. Josh and Ryan stood up but Gerard sat, staring at them.

"Come on, Gerard," Ryan said.

Gerard sucked in a breath, getting up and scuttling to the door.

He walked outside, waiting for Mikey. Mikey walked over leisurely.

"Are you ready to meet the rest of camp?" Mikey asked.

"Not really," Gerard admitted. He carefully stepped over a flower. Mikey sighed before grabbing Gerard's arm.

"Look, Gee!" Mikey bent down, petting a fawn. Gerard reached down as well, and the fawn licked him, nuzzling his hand. Gerard smiled.

"Come on, we need to go," Ryan appeared, brushing his hand across the back of Gerard's neck. Gerard shuddered, standing up and walking again.

The building was large, and Gerard could hear the noise of teenagers. Teenagers scared Gerard, and he was not looking forward to meeting any unless they are his soul mate.

"It'll be fine, come on," Mikey dragged Gerard in.

He was right. It was packed with people. Most sat in small groups, so Gerard was clueless as to where to sit.

"You can sit with us, seeing as we are also lost as to seating," Josh said. Gerard smiled a bit at him.

"Lets get food," Mikey dragged Gerard again. Gerard tripped a bit, and a few people chuckled. Turning bright red, Gerard joined the line of people. They were serving some kind of cereal and eggs. Gerard grabbed a couple eggs and a cup of juice.

Mikey spotted an empty table, making a beeline for it. Gerard, Josh, and Ryan followed. They sat down quietly.

"So, what's everyone's word?" Josh asked. "I've got Blurryface, which I think is pretty cool."

Ryan grabbed Josh's wrists.

"That looks so awesome on you. I've got disco, and the D curls so far around. Look," Ryan showed his wrists to the group.

"Mine's doldrums," Mikey put his wrists on the table, "whatever that means."

Ryan and Josh both hummed a bit before looking to Gerard.

"Chemical," he said quietly.

"No way, that's sick. Let me see," Josh reach across the table and gently picked up his wrists. "That looks cool!"

"Thanks," Gerard whispered, poking at his food. He wasn't really hungry.

Mikey nudged him softly, gesturing to the food. Gerard knew Mikey wanted him to eat. Gerard sighed softly, putting a bite of egg in his mouth. Mikey smiled at him.

Just then, Patrick approached the table.

"Today we'll do a tour with one of the small classes. It will still be mostly empty even with you all in it, so that should make it easier to adjust. As soon as you're done, come outside. We can discuss the girls that may have the same word as you," with that, Patrick turned and walked away.

"But I'm gay!" Ryan yelled loudly before covering his mouth in mock embarrassment.

There were a bunch of whistles from the other table, and Ryan laughed.

"We'll tall about boys then, anyone else gay?" Patrick asked from the door. All three boys raised their hands, along with about twenty boys from other tables.

Patrick pinched the bridge of his nose before smiling and leaving.

Mikey giggled, highfiving Josh and Ryan. Gerard chuckled a bit.

"I'm done with my food," Gerard stated, getting up to throw his food away. Josh and Ryan stared. "What?"

"That's the most you've said at one time," Ryan said.

Gerard blushed, throwing his tray away and running back to his seat.

They sat for another five minutes while they finished eating. They then headed outside.

Patrick was waiting, sitting on a stump. When he got up, Gerard saw the word 'Patrick's written across the top.

Patrick's stump.

"Okay, so first, we've got Bow and Arrows. That's fun. To get there, you have to take this trail," Patrick pointed.

"Come on." Josh led the group, followed by Ryan, Mikey, and Gerard was last.

When they got there, it was perfect. A rack held wooden bows and arrows, and a line of trees were painted with bullseyes.

Patrick told them to go ahead and mess around for a few minutes before they would leave. A group of girls was already there hitting almost a perfect bullseye each time. Each boy grabbed a bow and three arrows before getting a spot.

Josh immediately lined up his bow, striking the tree dead center on his first shot.

The others were not as lucky. Ryan took a deep breath before hitting a bit too far to the right. Mikey was too low, and Gerard missed completely.

After collecting the arrows, Patrick told them to put the stuff away.

They were on a tour, not doing full classes. The next class was Animal Taming. Gerard was looking forward to this. He liked animals, not as much as others, but he did.

The class itself was nice. In the middle of the forest, in a sunny meadow area. The teacher had a small flute. When he played certain notes, certain animals showed up. First he called a deer family, then rabbits, then birds. Gerard sat, stroking a little rabbit. It had seen him and instantly curled in his lap. Gerard had secretly named it Fluffles.

"Okay, guys, let's go. We gotta get to plants and medicine. That's one of the most important ones," Patrick announced. Ryan and Josh stood up, but Gerard Mikey were still holding the bunnies. "Boys," Patrick ordered.

Gerard frowned, petting the rabbit once more before joining the group. Mikey was sad to see his bunny go.

"I named it Daisy," Mikey mumbled on the way to the next class. Gerard leaned close to Mikey where the others wouldn't hear.

"I name mine Fluffles," Gerard whispered. Mikey's face lit up and he giggled.

"Okay, this is the class that will determine a lot of things so try your best please," Patrick said. Everyone nodded. Ray was the teacher for this class, so Ryan and Josh instantly relaxed. Mikey and Gerard were fairly calm, still enjoying the fact they hadn't been split up.

"Okay, so, today we are messing with peppermint. Can anyone tell me what effects people say peppermint has?" Ray asked the group. Mikey's hand shot up.

"Some people claim it has a healing effect," Mikey said.

Gerard sent him a confused look. He shrugged.

"Yes! Good job Mikey. People claim peppermint had healing effects, especially peppermint oil."

They talked about peppermint the entire class, and Gerard was bored.

Mikey, however, was animated. He loved a talking about plants and their health benefits, and he often got off topic talking about another plant. Gerard didn't know how he knew so much when he had never mentioned it before.

"Ah!" Patrick approached. "Looks like Mikey found his specialty area!" Ray nodded.

"I did?" Mikey asked.

"Did you see the way you were talking about peppermint?" Josh asked. Mikey shook his head before nudging Ryan, who had fallen asleep.

"Okay, guys, next we have meditation."

"Hell yeah," Ryan said calmly, rubbing his eyes.

"That was so anticlimactic," Mikey shook his head. Ryan shrugged.

"Come on, Ryan. Get up, we need to go," Patrick ushered the boys. They all laughed, even Gerard.

Meditation, they found out, was actually fun. The way the teacher talked about it, it made you feel like your head was a house, each room a skill. Ryan was already perfect at meditation. Sitting, slowing his breathing, and he was gone. He wouldn't respond at all unless it was the code word. Usually, Ryan came out explaining a new room he found or what went on in the rooms. Today, he came out a little rattled. When Mikey asked about it it, he said,

"One of the rooms. I could feel my soul mate. I couldn't see them, but I _felt_ him."

Everyone shrugged it off.

"Okay, next up, gathering," Patrick smiled.

They had already decided that Ryan's specialty was Meditating, and Mikey's was Plants and Meditating. Patrick thought Josh's might be Bow and Arrow, but he wasn't sure. And Gerard didn't have his specialty yet.

He was becoming a bit worried, seeing as more than half the classes had gone by. Mikey sensed his stress, patting his shoulder gently. Gerard gulped, hoping he wasn't the only one without something special.

Gathering was lame, all the boys agreed. Find a specific amount of something and measure it out, or count and return it. Lame. Luckily, gathering wasn't Gerard's specialty. That meant it had to be one of the last two.

And Patrick refused what to say what they were before lunch.

Because they had only been staying for half the classes, they were almost done with all of the classes. Usually, they would only be through the first three. They were dreading getting up early, even if breakfast was 8:45 and classes started at 9. It was still too early.

After the boys all ate a quick lunch, they begged Patrick to bring them to their next class early.

Patrick refused, saying that lunch lasted for twenty full minutes, so they wouldn't go a minute earlier. Gerard had pouted, sitting silently. Mikey had tried involving him in the conversation, but he didn't carry it on. Josh and Ryan understood why he didn't talk, but Mikey still tried to make him anyways.

After waiting out the full twenty minutes, Patrick led to them to the next class.

Gerard was slightly excited, because he had overheard gossip of a class that he hadn't been to yet. Art.

Sure enough, they arrived to a little but made of tree branches. Inside, plants dangled from the rafters and a few pots boiled. There were easels set up with canvas and small pots of ink. It looked amazing, and Gerard wanted to run to it. He almost did. Patrick had to reach out and catch him when he tripped forward.

"Eager, are we?" Patrick smirked. Gerard frowned and blushed, stepping back.

"Since you are on the welcome tour, you get to choose what you want to do," the teacher gestured around. Gerard looked to the inks.

"Ah, inks. An experienced artist?" The teacher smiled. Gerard nodded. "Is anyone else?"

The boys shook their heads.

"Alright. Honey, you can get started with the inks. Everyone else, we'll do dyes."

Gerard nodded again, walking over to an empty canvas. Dipping a brush into the ink, Gerard sighed. It was so long since Gerard had good quality ink to use.

He set to work immediately. He heard the boys struggling with making dye and not coloring themselves, but he turned them out. He focused on his drawing, a drawing of a rabbit. It was the rabbit that had curled into Gerard's lap, and it had the perfect colors to shade. Gerard was so focused on his drawing that he didn't even notice when the group had finished. Only when Mikey tapped on his shoulder did he wake up from this artist's trance.

"Woah," Mikey said, pointing to the canvas. Josh and Ryan came over to see what Mikey was pointing at. They both raised their eyebrows what they say the drawing.

"And it looks like we found your specialty," Patrick smiled. "Come on boys, off to quills. That's just writing really."

The boys nodded before heading off.

Quills was fun. Gerard learned how to write his name in some fancy writing he can't the name of. That class passed quickly, and they were of to their last.

"I teach this class so we can stay here as long as you like. Not many soulmates are good with music, because they have more of a nature connection, but we still have a wide variety of instruments. Some are not natural, but that's alright," Patrick explained. "You can mess around, but if you break an instrument, you're either remaking it, or going to the city to replace it." The boys nodded. Gerard knew he couldn't play instruments.

"Oh, a bass!" Mikey yelled, leaping over a (Patrick) stump to get it. He put it on, playing a few things.

Josh gravitated to the drums. Once he sat down, he had the energy of the sun, playing any and everything.

Ryan stuck to a guitar and sang a few lines of something he wrote.

Gerard stood there, not doing anything.

"Do you play anything?" Patrick asked, and Gerard shook his head. "Do you sing?" He asked, and Gerard cringed.

He wasn't going to admit it, but he did sing.

"Ah!" Patrick exclaimed, seeing Gerard's reaction. "We've got quite the talented group here. I'd love to start a band, like a class size one. If we can get two or three more singers, another bass, and another guitar, then we'd be set," Patrick smiled.

Gerard loved to sing, especially hidden by the voices of others, but he knew he wasn't a good singer. What if he ruined the whole band?

"Okay, you guys are dismissed. Go relax."

Everyone smiled, ready to sleep, even though it was mid afternoon.

"Aren't you excited Gee?" Mikey asked on the walk back.

Gerard shrugged.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's a soulmate au in nature, how could I not make that joke? (Twice so far and many more times to come)
> 
> I'm pretty sure my dream last night had to do with going to a Frank Iero concert or something and I took like 3000 photos of him. And then I think he like talked to me, like, introduced himself or something. And I was just dying.
> 
> Apparently my keyboard spazzes out over long chapters so errors are not me, it's my flipping keyboard.
> 
> This is the one story I actually have a good plan for so it will not completely suck!
> 
> Hope everyone has a good day!  
> ~Bells


	4. SHORT CHAPTER (I can't go to the climax this early already!!)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if ur disappointed, I just needed to get this stuff across as clearly as I could, and I couldn't do that if it was in the next chapter.
> 
> ((This is basically a preparation chapter for the more interesting bit))

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unlike normal people, who can and do make filler chapters, I can't. I don't really know how and every time I try to fill a chapter with useless or cute stuff, I end up speeding the plot along (Literally I'm talking about The Most Awkward Thing You've Ever Read and the surprise proposal) so this is a bby chapter to just give ya some feelings. 
> 
> This probably will have a sequel  
> Jesus Christ I have so many sequels to plan and write
> 
> So I got a free book that I can keep from the library called The Fangirl's Guide to the Galaxy and it the best thing ever. I squealed during the meeting and everyone stared at me, buts that's okay. This book is perfection.  
> IT MENTIONED AO3. 
> 
> Yeah I'm really sorry I don't have a posting schedule and I would love to stay organized, but I can't force my creativity, and I wouldn't have good quality to post. Plus, I'm gonna be starting and ending different stories and switching days and trying to fit space would be tough with my personal schedule.

As the next few days dragged on, so did the boys. Slowly, they were crumbling. Their spirits were disappearing, and it showed physically. Mikey's hair never lied down and did what he wanted, Ryan was very pale, and Josh had bags under his eyes.

Ryan and Josh- being the make up enthusiasts they are- used makeup to cover their faces. Josh wore bright red marks around his eyes, looking fierce. Ryan changed it up a lot. Sometimes it was teal, or red, or blue, or purple eyeshadow. Sometimes he used eyeliner to put on designs, sometimes he didn't. But he always wore makeup.

Plain and simple, the boys were a mess.

And the only thing that would fix them was their soulmates, but they weren't there.

While the others boys lost hope, Gerard gained confidence. After Patrick actually got him to sing, Gerard couldn't stop. He loved the way the words sounded, and he never wanted to stop singing. This led to him not only move around on stage, but run, jump, and dance. The boys felt the new energy on Gerard, and it was a pleasant surprise. They all needed this energy.

Gerard was very willing to share.

He started talking a lot more, even about random things at breakfast. He also moved with a bit of a sway, opposed to his usual scuttle. The air around Gerard had just seemed to shift completely. One minute, he was quiet, shy. The next, he was bouncing with confidence and energy. It was helping, at least a little.

Gerard obviously noticed the depression of his friends.

He had confronted them, but Mikey had said he wanted to meet his soul mate. The others agreed. Gerard understood why they were upset, but it had only been a few days. There was plenty of time to meet his soul mate. It was no problem. The boys didn't see it this way though, so Gerard shrugged and dropped it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh so short I know, but hey! I'm updating like once a day with library work twice a week, flute practice, piano practice, piano lessons, and homework. 
> 
> Next chapter we finally get the good stuff and that's why, this is like preparation!!
> 
> Why can't my internetty friends all live in Colorado so we could meet up bc I dont think I could go to Maine and I doubt my internet friends could come here.


	5. Awesome Frickin Chapter that I personally LOVE

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been put on suicide watch at my school and I have to go to a therapist
> 
> Fun fact:  
> The word 'Gerard' is in this chapter 89 times. ('The' is in here 153 times so we're excluding grammar words)  
> 'Frank' is in second place with 41 mentions.  
> Mikey and Tyler are tied with 27, and Patrick is in here 26 times.

Just as the boys had settled into a nice, though depressed, routine, the entire camp was gathered early one morning. Gerard was nervous, because why would they call the entire camp to a meeting? Mikey, Ryan, and Josh were excited, thinking it could be something about the soulmates. Gerard thought they cared too much.

"Okay, hey! So we gathered you here today," Ray began, but he was interrupted by students yelling 'wedding'. "Not for a wedding. While we know the camp is completely supportive and accepting of others, we have a different group of students coming in today."

Patrick stepped onto a stump, looking at the sea of students.

"They are a group of boys, each having issues. Panic attacks, anxiety attacks, and one of them has cut all the way over his word. It's nearly indecipherable, so don't try to read it without his permission. One of the others is also very sneaky and skittish, so don't be surprised if he disappears often. Here, they hope to find peace and happiness, so please don't harass them. Let them have a nice experience," Patrick projected his voice, making sure each soul mate heard him.

They did, judging by the looks of discomfort.

The students didn't want a broken soul mate, they wanted the perfect beach babe. That's not how real life works.

After a short explanation of how to treat the new students, everyone was dismissed to class.

The new boys were supposed to arrive just as the first class started, so the boys didn't have to wait long. Mikey was nearly leaping around with excitement. Josh and Ryan were chatting quietly, talking about music. Gerard sat silently, eating his cereal. He wanted to meet these new guys, but he didn't want to scare them away. Patrick had explained that if you accidentally corner them, they may freak out. Gerard didn't want to do that.

Right on time, the new guys arrived to camp. The students were respectful from a distance, but it was obvious they were staring. It was an odd group.

There was a tallish boy with a big forehead. He had a shy swagger, walking like a guest who owned the house. Another guy, slightly shorter, walled behind the group, peeking out every few seconds. The other two boys were short. One was very frenzied, and Gerard guessed this was the skittish one. The last one walked sluggishly, dragging his feet and tripping often. His head was covered in a black hood, and he kept his face down. His hands were buried deep in his pockets, and he never once looked up. Gerard found him interesting.

Suddenly, Patrick came up, snapped at the students, and they dispersed. Ryan and Mikey looked slightly disappointed, while Josh just looked sad.  Gerard was neutral, leading his group to Bows and Arrows.

When they got there, they were surprised to see the new boys already there. Patrick saw their expression, walking over quickly on his short legs.

"They don't get the shorter tour because they need more time to adjust and make sure each class is safe, so they'll be here all day. Please don't stare, especially when they attract attention," Patrick whispered urgently.

"Will they be in our class the whole time we're here?" Josh asked. Patrick nodded, before heading back to the huddled group of teens. Josh smiled widely, excited that they would be in the class.

"Maybe we can be friends with them?" Mikey asked no one in specific.

"Maybe," Ryan agreed.

Gerard stayed quiet. He wanted this class over, so he could go to animal taming. Animal Taming was nice, shooting arrows completely off target was not.

Josh, of course, got almost all bullseyes while shooting.

Ryan and Mikey were ok, and Gerard shot two arrows before giving up and sitting in his own little group of trees.

There, in that area, he could breathe. He could sit and no one would judge him, or worry. It was just him. Well, it _was_.

"Hi," a small voice said, causing Gerard to jump. He looked over to see one of the new boys, the quiet one, sitting on his hands and knees. He seemed to sense Gerard's fear, backing away. He started to leave, but Gerard touched his arm lightly. The guy froze.

"You don't have to leave," Gerard said. The guy breathed a sigh of relief, sitting back down.

"I'm Tyler," he said. Gerard nodded.

"I'm Gerard."

"Nice to meet you. Why are you back here?"

"It's quiet. I can be alone," Gerard shrugged. Tyler blushed, embarrassed that he had interrupted.

"Oh."

"No, it's fine. It's nice to talk to someone beside my friends. My friends all think you're all cool," Gerard cringed at his wording.

"Really? We thought everyone would be scared of us or think we're weird," Tyler's eyes brightened a bit and Gerard wanted to smile.

"No, we don't think that! We think you guys look nice."

"Oh, that's cool," Tyler smiled.

Just then, class was released. Tyler shrugged in apology, and left. Gerard got up, walking over to his friends.

"Lets go tame 'dem cuties," Mikey whispered to Gerard, and he snorted. Both Mikey and Gerard loved the bunnies, and they loved them too. The bunnies always headed over to Gerard and Mikey first, cuddling around them. Mikey and Gerard had fun giving them names. There was Daisy and Fluffles, the queens. They always got to sit in the brothers' laps. Then there was Cocao, Sapphie, Violet, Fuschia, Jessica, Kobra, Sierra, Poison, Ghoul, Winters, Jet Star, and Dracula. They couldn't tell the genders of the fluffy buns, but the rabbits didn't mind their names either way.

Today, on cue, a giant fluffy herd of bunnies came running over to Gerard and Mikey. The new boys watched with curiosity as the bunnies rubbed against the boys, covering their clothes in fur. Right on time, Daisy plopped down into Mikey's lap. Fluffles then claimed her spot in Gerard's.

Gerard cooed at the bunny, rubbing his nose against hers. Gerard heard a giggle, and he assumed it was Tyler. He was right. He looked up to see the group of new students joining the circle, Tyler watching the bunnies.

Another boy, the shortest one, was also peeking out of his hood to stare sat Gerard. Gerard averted his gaze, counting the rabbits. He noticed Ghoul was creeping away.

"Ghoul, Ghoul. Where, Ghoul, Where are you- Ghoul," Gerard watched as the rabbit hopped warily before going warp speed right at the small guy.

As Gerard predicted, Ghould jumped onto the poor boy, knocking him backwards with a surprised 'Oof!!'. Gerard sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. Fluffles was nibbling on his shirt, demanding attention. Gerard disregarded her, watching as the guy picked himself up.

He was holding Ghoul, and Ghoul was nuzzling him.

Gerard felt a pang of jealousy before remembering he had five other rabbits gathered around him. Gerard put Fluffles down, raising his hand. It was a trick he had taught her. Gerard made a looping motion, and Fluffles jumped up, touching Gerard's hands with her back feet. Gerard smiled, scratching her head, when he noticed something.

The short guy was doing with tricks with Ghoul.

It wasn't unusual for the rabbits to do tricks, but Ghoul was the most stubborn rabbit at camp. He refused to let anyone do tricks with him.

"Wow, Frank!" The teacher exclaimed, carefully watching the performance. "Maybe your specialty is animal taming?"

"My... specialty?" It was the first time Frank had spoken, and it had shocked Gerard. His voice was smooth, with a slight accent, but it wasn't unused. It was almost singer quality.

"Your specialty. One of the classes will strike you more than he others, and you will excel at it," the teacher clarified. Frank nodded, before looking at the other rabbits.

"Can he practice with them?" The teacher asked Gerard. Gerard nodded, setting an annoyed Fluffles down. Frank stared at the rabbits inhaling sharply.

He then whistled loudly. All the rabbits froze, looking towards Frank. Frank's eyes widened. He moved slowly, trying to readjust himself.

As he shifted his weight, he snapped a twig.

And all fluffy hell broke out.

Every single bun launched themselves at Frank. Frank made a noise of surprise and regret before multiple flying rabbits landed on him.

All fourteen of them.

Gerard was pretty sure he heard Frank squeak, "help!" From under the rabbit pile.

Patrick decided to return then, stopping when he saw the display.

"Okay then," he said, "I've actually never seen that before."

The boys laughed at him comment, even the buried Frank.

"Okay, class dismissed," the teacher said, and all the boys stood up. Except Frank.

"I'm pretty sure that rabbit is bigger than you," Josh said, pointing at Dracula, who was sitting on Frank's chest. Dracula was quite fat.

Frank made a sarcastic remark, but it was lost in the fluff covering his face.

"Sapphie, get off his face," Mikey said, and Sapphire gladly hopped off his head, followed by the rest of the herd. Frank let out a big breath, stretching and standing up. He then joined the rest of his group, just as Gerard joined his.

The whole time they walked to plants and medicine, Gerard thought of Frank. He though of how Frank had smiled slightly when he was tackled, even though he pretended to be upset. He thought of Frank's eyes, and how you could only see the be right hazel color when he was lying under the rabbits.

Plants and medicines went as expected. Everyone was confused and bored, except for Mikey. Mikey seemed to know all of the answers, whether they were common knowledge or not. The news guys had been surprised before Patrick explained that when you found your specialty, you also discovered a lot of hidden information.  They then relaxed a bit. Gerard was waiting for lunch, where we could go wander the forest without being disturbed.

"Hey, Gerard," Tyler approached Gerard. Gerard was a but startled that Tyler came to talk to him. "So, I was- we were, we were wondering if we could sit with you guys at lunch? Since we don't know anyone?" Tyler asked. Gerard nodded.

"Of course you can."

In gathering, it turned out that the other short one, Pete, was great. He had found that it was specialty early, because as soon as they had a search assignment, Pete knew where it was and how to gather it. No one seemed shocked. His skittish speed allowed for him to move quickly through the forest. He had a habit of tripping on (Patrick) stumps while running, though.

At lunch, Tyler followed Gerard around, so Gerard found it best to just stay at lunch, instead if going to the forest. The rest of the new boys trailed behind Tyler.

After locating the usual table, Gerard took his food and sat down. Josh and Ryan sat by his side's, and Mikey on Ryan's side.

Tyler and his friends appeared, looking at the open spots.

Josh and Ryan were smiling, and Tyler sat in front of Josh.

He looked wary, but no one could be scared of Josh's brilliant smile.

Pete sat as close to the wall as he could, so he ended up in front of Mikey.

The tall one sat in front of Ryan, smirking and winking. Ryan blushed, scooting around in his seat.

That left Frank with one place to sit, in front of Gerard. Frank sat down, visibly uncomfortable with the situation. Gerard kept his eyes on his food, not daring to look up and accidentally meet Frank's eyes.

"So," the tall boy broke the silence, "I'm Brendon."

"Mikey."

"Ryan."

"Josh."

"Gerard," Gerard mumbled his name.

"You all know me," Pete said quickly before shoving food in his mouth.

"I'm Tyler," Tyler smiled.

He looked to Frank, who was violently stabbing his salad.

"You're murdering it," Tyler said, pulling the salad away and pretending to cuddle it. Frank rolled his eyes, pulling it back.

"'M Frank," he said around a piece of lettuce.

"So, you guys are soulmates?" Mikey said. They nodded. "Are you guys comfortable showing your words?"

Frank stabbed the salad as hard as he could, and you could hear the plate cracking a bit.

"No," he said stiffly, pulling at his hoodie sleeves.

"I would, but words don't define us, and I think that we would be judged," Tyler shrugged.

"We would never judge you," Josh replied. Tyler shrugged again.

"My word is quite random. I don't think peasants can handle it," Brendon smiled.

Frank hit him with his fork.

Brendon took his own fork, tapping Frank on the head repeatedly. Frank ignored it.

"Okay," Patrick stepped in with his loud voice, "back to classes!"

Gerard and his friends groaned. They had quills next. Quills had been fun at first, but now it was writing the alphabet over and over, being critiqued for every single thing.

"What's so bad about quills?" Tyler asked.

"Psychopath teacher making us rewrite the alphabet seven hundred times until we get the letters right," Mikey replied, throwing his lunch away dramatically. The walk was short with quills being closer to the lunch area.

The boys were right, it was horrible. The teacher had no mercy for the new boys, instead assigning them all of the late work. It turned out quills was Tyler's specialty. He was good at writing songs in cool fonts.

"My lungs will fill and then deflate. Fill with fire. Exhale desire. That's cool," Josh said, reading what Tyler showed him.

Tyler liked sharing his things with people, especially Josh. He was proud of his specialty.

After quills, there was art. As usual, Gerard ran the whole way there, looking like an over excited bunny.

"What's his problem?" Frank mumbled under his breath, silently hoping no one heard him.

"He's just excited is all," Ryan replied, slightly offended by Frank's tone of voice.

Frank said nothing else, walking at a faster pace.

When they got to art, Gerard was already there, working with his clay. The assignment was to make an animal, and Gerard chose gazelle. Ask him why, he couldn't tell you. He liked gazelles.

Mikey chose a rabbit, as did Frank.

Frank actually chose the brown of Ghoul, but he added more. On the side of the rabbit, he painted a logo. It was a smiley face, but a creepy one. It was in green, and it looked so cool.

Gerard was jealous of the logo, so once he finished the spectacular gazelle, he began a rabbit. He decided on modeling Poison, for being able to match the terra cotta clay to the red rabbit's fur. He built the rabbit deftly, snatching the yellow and black paint from the table. He quickly outlined a circle before painting his logo in yellow. He didn't know what the logo meant, only that it was it was Poison's now.

"Is that Party?" Mikey asked Gerard. Gerard shook his head.

"Poison? Remember?"

"Oh, yeah, sorry. I thought we named him- her- whatever. I thought it was Party?"

"No, it's always been Poison. What did you think it was?" Gerard asked.

"I thought it was Party Poison," Mikey frowned.

"Oh," Gerard paused, "I actually like that."

Mikey smiled slightly before returning to his own rabbit.

"I'm doing Daisy," he called to Gerard.

Gerard gave him a thumbs up.

Art wrapped up with the boys leaving their creations in the sunlight to pick up tomorrow.

Frank took a glance at Gerard's, his mouth tightening into a line when he saw the logo. There was writing on the bottom, and Frank picked it up quickly to see it. 'Party Poison' was written there. He put it down quickly, scurrying to his last class.

Gerard had sang every other music class, and it was just his luck that today was one of the days where he would sing.

He immediately headed out into the thicker woods to warm up, even though he know the camp would still hear him. After screaming loudly for ten or so minutes, he headed back.

Tyler immediately looked up and smiled at him. Gerard's eyes widened in fear as Tyler leaped over a Stump, sprinting at Gerard. He sped towards Gerard, smiling.

"That was sick as frick!" Tyler yelled.

"What was?" Gerard asked.

"Your singing!" Gerard blushed, and he swore he saw Frank look away.

"Okay, guys, I need to know what each of you play!" Patrick called out. "I can help the singers, because I am one."

Gerard called it.

"We have Josh on drums, Mikey on bass, Ryan guitar and singing, and Gerard singing. You guys?" Patrick pointed to the new guys.

"Singing," Tyler smiled. Patrick nodded, returning the smile.

"Singing," Brendon said, before signing a high note that could've shattered glass. Gerard thought he was a show off.

"Bass," Pete said, and Mikey's eyes lit up.

Patrick then turned to Frank.

"Guitar... and backing vocals sometimes," he tried to sound disinterested.

"What a musical group!" Patrick screamed. "We'll need another guitar, so I'll see if Ray will join us, but I think this will be fun. Vocalists, please warm up and here," he handed out sheet music, "work on this."

There were obviously two parts to the song. One part was louder than the other but the other had most of the instruments.

One part was titled 'Alone Together', while the other was 'This is Gospel'.

"We should divide ourselves," Brendon suggested. "I'm going with This is Gospel, and I'm taking Ryan with me."

Ryan blushed.

"Gospel," Tyler added.

"I'll obviously do the drum part," Josh said.

"I'll do Gospel too then," Mikey said, before walking over to Brendon. Brendon was intimidating. Gerard felt betrayed that his brother had gone dark side.

"Goddamnit!" Frank screamed when he saw which side he was on. Just then, Patrick showed up.

"Let me guess, nothing? No one ever does anything. Hmm, let's see. Frank- your on..."

"Actually we split ourselves up," Brendon interrupted, and only then Patrick noticed the groups.

"Great! I'll be doing lead vocals for Alone Together, so Gerard, if you wish to join in, that'd be nice."

Gerard nodded, wanting to run into the forest.

"Okay, you guys have like thirty minutes to work out the parts individually, and we'll try it once together," Patrick signalled that everyone could start working.

This is Gospel immediately started working the singing out.

It sounded amazing with Brendon's voice and Gerard was overcome with jealousy.

He was going to sing louder and better than that sass peasant.

Gerard started practicing, singing at a normal volume.

The other group glared at the interruption and Gerard smirked.

At some point, Frank figured out his part, joining with Gerard's practicing. Ray also showed up, easily playing his part. Josh waited patiently, as the two groups synced up unconsciously.

Patrick then started singing, trying to show Gerard that he should be the leader singer.

Gerard refused to back down, singing just as loud as Patrick, and Patrick was _loud_.

Once the bands had reached their ends, they began as a group. Josh helped, connecting the two by the drums.

It started out with Alone Together being quieter, and Gospel being in charged, but it quickly shifted so that Alone Together was just as loud. Then, Gospel reached the long note, and Alone Together charged in. They were definitely louder. The next verse was still quite louder than Brendon, even though he tried to be louder.

Gerard was by far the most loud singer there.

He sang louder than Patrick, and he wasn't even top volume.

When Brendon and Patrick both started to creep up on him, he did go loud. Really loud.

He went so loud that Frank flinched, tripping over both Patrick and a Stump.

Gerard winced, but he stayed at a high volume.

By the time the song ended, Gerard voice was hoarse.

Brendon and Patrick also had scratchy voices.

Somehow, Frank had gotten his hand to start bleeding, so the white guitar was red and pink.

Pete also ran around like crazy, so his knees were scraped.

Ryan and Mikey were the only ones who were not set on killing themselves by song.

It was still fun.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The mashup: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=IvCviRX3wmE
> 
> Runner-ups for the mashup: (find em on YouTube by searching 'm chemical romance panic at the disco mashup' a bunch of fallout boy ones will come up and you may have to click through to find these but it's worth it!)  
> Hallelujah and The (Shipped) Gold Standard  
> Sugar, were going down and This is Gospel  
> She's a Handsome Woman and Teenagers  
> Young Volcanoes and This is Gospel
> 
> These are talented people who know what's important
> 
> WOAH long chapter wow
> 
> I could've done better characterization on Brendon I'm sorry it will be fixed in the future
> 
> Sorry but there may be a longer break between posting. (That's not really a big deal because I write a lot. I mean like 4-7 day breaks at the most) this is because I'm super unstable, and I've been breaking down all weekend, so I don't know how well my mental health will be in the future


	6. Frank, Tyler, Pete, and Brendon: The Backstory

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things I don't understand:  
> 1\. Betas 2. Gifts 3. Challenges 4. Collections
> 
> At church I got to watch Veggietales and color, so that was nice. I got to be five basically and I colored the tomato blue :3
> 
> If you touch my brother's neck he squeaks really loudly and squishes your hand between his head and shoulder
> 
> "God, remember when we could go in Fruit, Nuts, N Stuff and buy a bunch if stuff? That's probably where Bella got her chocolate fetish." - _Mom stahp_
> 
> Our Lady of Sorrows makes me wanna vandalize something  
> If I wanted to, I could wrap this story up in the next three chapters because I don't have stuff for filler chapters. I won't though don't worry

**Frank**

Frank had started getting bullied when he was in sixth grade. He was a soul mate, in the city. This meant judgemental people everywhere who were either jealous or disgusted. Frank had always been strong when dealing with these people, but their insults still hurt.

"A joke of a word."

"Never find his soul mate."

"What an ugly font!"

"Should kill himself before his soul mate sees him."

He had received so many insults, he hadn't heard a new one past eight grade. They all meant nothing to him, but they also meant everything. Frank began to doubt himself. What if his soul mate didn't want him? What if his soul mate was disappointed? What if they wanted a different soul mate? Frank was worried of the possible outcome, but he had never though of taking his life.

Until high school.

High school was hell.

People shoving Frank constantly, pushing him down stairs. They never left him alone, especially when it came to soulmates. The mean words piled up, and they started to leave their mark.

Frank started becoming introverted. He hid away, not raising his hand ever. Back corners became his only friends. It was quite horrible, and the bullies only fed from his coward. Frank was being pushed, and there was only way to go: down. Frank spiraled, like a bird with a broken wing. He turned to the only thing that could distract him. Pain. Frank had held the small blade, so full of power, staring at his wrists. The stupid black ink covering them, wrapping around them. It had great curls around it, twisting and shaping it into something absolutely gorgeous. But it wasn't everything it seemed. To Frank, it was nothing short of a beautiful burden, dragging him down. In return, he dragged the blade down in them. And once the word was red and no longer readable, he stopped. He wiped the blood away, shrugged his hoodie on and keeping it low on his wrists, hiding his secret. Not that he needed to hide it. The bullies would find out and be even more excited; they had won.

**Tyler**

Tyler was a nice kid, who no one really bothered. He treated everyone nicely, so everyone else did the same to him. Even in his first year of high school, when his word appeared, he was treated no differently. Usually, if someone's word showed up, they were bothered. Tyler wasn't. He just kinda floated through, because he had such a good reputation. The bullies didn't even think to check his wrists. That didn't mean Tyler was paranoid. He was quite worrisome, actually. He always though the mean people would find him, hurt him. So he stayed in the shadows. Drifting behind people, hiding behind walls. Tyler was never noticed, never noticing anyone else.

That was always the rule, until the day in the hall.

He had been walking freely, because everyone was at lunch. He had heard commotion, so he hid behind a wall. He took a peek out. A shorter kid was being pushed into a locker. They football players responsible were yelling insults.

"You're trash! Idiot soul mate trash!" One screamed.

Tyler saw the guy say something in response, and the jock punched him, before turning around to leave.

"Worthless!" The guys screamed before they rounded the corner.

The guy lied on the ground, sobbing.

"I said I know!" He shrieked, hitting the locker in frustration. He couldn't pick himself up, obviously hurt.

Tyler was frozen. The poor guy had been called worthless, and he had agreed. How broken do you have to be to agree with the insults? Tyler stood there, watching the boy pull himself up, before he could move again. And he ran straight to him.

"Hey, are you okay?" Tyler asked, wincing from the obvious question.

"I'm not o-fucking-kay!" the guy sreeched. Tyler winced again.

"We should get you to the nurse," Tyler said, going to help him up. The guy narrowed his eyes before taking Tyler's hand.

"How long-" Tyler began.

"Years. Four, almost five now," the guy sighed.

"You're not worthless. You have a soul mate out there that thinks you're everything."

The guy sighed again, pulling his hoodie up. This revealed two butchered wrists, covered in red lines that hid the black ink.

"Oh," was all Tyler could say.

"I'm too broken for a soul mate. No one wants one as fallen apart as me," the guy sniffled.

Tyler shook his head.

"Okay, so, do you want me to stay here with you?" Tyler asked as they approached the nurse's office.

The guy considered it.

"Yeah," he nodded.

"Okay, I'm Tyler."

"Frank," Frank said, and they walked in.

There was only one other boy here, and he was shaking horribly.

"Oh!" The nurse said when she saw Frank. Tyler helped him stumble his way to a bed.

"Are you going to stay?" The nurse asked Tyler. Tyler nodded.

A noise made him jump, and he turned to see the shaking guy gasping and grabbing at the walls.

"Is he alright?" Tyler asked, moving towards the shaky boy.

"Yeah, Pete has panic attacks really often. Put your hand on his arm, he'll calm," the nurse ordered. Tyler slowly reached out to Pete, resting his hand gently. Pete calmed significantly, breathing returning to normal.

"I-I-I'm so-sorry," Pete choked out. Tyler shushed him, making sure to keep and eye on Frank while talking to Pete.

"You're fine. I'm Tyler," Tyler felt as brave as ever, already introducing himself twice in one day.

Maybe they would be friends.

**Pete**

Pete went to the nurse's office, knowing a full scale panic attack was coming. He barely made it to her office before he curled on a bed and began sobbing. Everything was blurry, shaking with intensity. Pete squeezed his eyes shut, trying not to relive his memories as he patently did. He failed.

Pete thought of last year, when his problems began. His word appeared, and his father had not been supportive. He had hit Pete, before moving on to cutting him with whatever he found. Pete's arms had been littered with scars less than two months after his word had appeared. It only got worse form there. His mother found out what his father had done, and he had left. Instead, his mother got boyfriend's, most of whom liked to pain Pete for fun. It taught Pete or be afraid of men, and even people. Seeing someone on the street caused him to panic, usually resulting in a panic attack or breaking down. Pete became severely scared of everyone, except people his age.

Even that didn't last.

Jocks saw his scars and word, calling him emo and a loser. They told him to die, kill himself with alcohol and pills.

Pete feared these things, knowing he would never take his own life.

That didn't mean people wouldn't take it for him.

Pete was scared of everyone. Girls, boys, men, women, children, the elderly. People.

And so Pete felt at peace, falling apart in the near empty nurse's room. He had even calmed himself a bit.

Suddenly, the door slammed open, and Pete's breathing went up rapidly. Two boys came in, one beaten up. The other looked a bit strange, wearing a floral shirt thing. The way the shorter one moved with power scared Pete, and he felt tears prick his eyes.

The nurse said something, but Pete couldn't hear it. All he heard was incoherent sounds. Pete grabbed at the wall, determined not to fall. He tried to breathe, but he couldn't. It was like a snake was wrapping itself around his chest, making it impossible to inhale. Pete was nearing the end of the attack, where he would pass out. He always passed out after bad ones.

Pete squeezed his eyes tight, opening them when he felt a hand on his arm. He expected to see the nurse, not one of the guys that came in. It was a bit unnerving, but he calmed none the less.

"I'm sorry," Pete tried to say, knowing he stuttered a lot.

"You're fine. I'm Tyler," the boys said with a smile. Pete tried to return the smile.

Tyler didn't seem bad, but he was human. And humans couldn't be trusted.

"Hey, spaz," the beaten boy said, and Tyler glared at him. "You ok?"

Pete nodded before smiling and saying,

"I am, so fuck you." Pete didn't know where the bravery came from, or where the stutter went.

"Cool. I don't give a shit," the guy replied, sticking his tongue out like a five year old.

"How old are you even?" Pete asked.

The guy wiggled his eyebrows.

"Old enough."

Pete laughed. A real laugh, caused by another person. Another person hadn't made him laugh in at least a year.

"That was horrible, and yet so amazing," Tyler said, facepalming. He then looked at Pete. "I'm so sorry you had to endure that."

"Nah, I've had worse. Being a soul mate. It sucks," Pete mumbled, waiting for their reaction. Would it be fear or disgust this time?

"Hey, yo, I feel ya," the short guy said. "And I'm Frank."

"Are you a soul mate?" Pete asked.

Both Frank and Tyler nodded.

"Cool! Friends!" Tyler exclaimed, hugging Pete and then Frank. Pete was surprised at the hug, having not hugged anyone in a long time.

This could be different. He could have friends.

**Brendon**

Brendon had always been a soul mate. He had always had his word. No one cared. This who did usually were too frustrated with Brendon and his personality to torment him.

You see, Brendon was strange. He was some of the sassiest people you'd ever meet, and he still came off nice.

Maybe it was his positive tone of voice.

Maybe it was his forehead.

No one knows.

They only know that you will be completely tired of him 24/7.

"Peasants! Move your fucking asses," Brendon said to the group of people walking at a leisurely pace. He had two minutes to get across the school, he was not putting up with this bullshit. He heard mumbling before a water bottle was thrown at his head. He caught it, took a sip, and threw it down the stairs.

"Hey, you threw my bottle, dickhead! That's limited edition!" A jock screamed. Brendon smiled proudly.

"Thank you, I _did_ put on my best performance," Brendon bowed. A guy came up, punching Brendon in the jaw. Brendon laughed, holding two middle fingers up slowly.

"Fuck you!" He yelled happily before sprinting to his next class. He made it on time, but there was already a jock there.

"You broke Johnson's bottle?" He asked, cracking his knuckles.

"His baby bottle, yes. I did indeed break it," Brendon confirmed.

"That's it!" The guy hollered before throwing Brendon against the opposite wall.

He screamed,

"Whee! Throw me again!"

"I will!" The guy replied, slamming Brendon's head on the floor.

"That's not very nice!"

"You're not nice!"

With that, the jock slammed Brendon's head once more, and he was dizzy. The guy left, and the bell rang.

Brendon was alone in the hall.

After a furious ten minutes of trying to get upright, Brendon began his walk to the nurse. His head was sticky, so he was guessing he was bleeding, and everything was very wibbly- wobbly.

Arriving to the office, Brendon used his last strength to throw open the door, before he collapsed.

"Oh my god!" The nurse screamed. Brendon heard more than just her heels, so he guessed there were others in here too.

"Boys, help me get him on a bed," the nurse ordered, and Brendon was being moved.

"You okay, man?" A voice asked. Brendon recognized it as the invisible midget who tripped Brendon a lot.

"Yes, you midget," Brendon replied with a giggle.

He felt a slap on the back of his head and he guessed Frank heard his comment.

"That's not nice. Don't do that. Besides, he could be hurt. Internally," another voice said. "I'm Tyler. Nice to meet you."

"I'm Brendon, sass queen extraordinaire," Brendon smiled.

"Nice to meet you. I think we'll be great friends, seeing as I was just called Queen of Florals," Tyler said. "Cough-Frank-Cough."

"We'll all be friends," Frank laughed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry I couldn't think of anything better! Next chapter we got some more story
> 
> Im on a roll for this story
> 
> Is Brendon Urie (or Gerard) saying peasant an international thing? I think it is
> 
> ~~"I'm not o-fucking-kay" is an important line that you should remember!!!~~
> 
> "The disgusting Saints," -step dad about the football game  
> "I have a _knife_ in my hand, you seemed to overlook that!" -my mom
> 
> I <3 tarantulas
> 
> ~Bells


	7. One more filler I'm sorry

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Look at how much I'm writing apparently emotional damage helps!
> 
> U guys n ur smart remarks that make me wanna hit myself but in the best way possible  
> U guys r like my best friends I like u all more than I like my eyeliner supply
> 
> GUYS MY PINEAPPLE SHAPED CLOCK THAT NEVER HOLDS THE RIGHT TIME IS ACTUALLY HOLDING THE RIGHT TIME BUT NO ONE IN MY FAMILY RESET IT THIS IS SPOOKY  
> I named the ghost Susan
> 
> It is September where is the autumn it is like warm and MOSQUITOS
> 
> You don't have to like this chapter bc it's mostly just for space. I'm not going to end this in like ten chapters. I'm not gonna do it. I am going to stretch this out as long as I can, even if it mean many short chapters with longer ones in between.  
> Next chapter should be up tomorrow

Gerard was so jealous. He wanted to punch something.

Frank was sitting there, being all normal, and he got a _gazelle_ to show up.

A _gazelle_.

Even the teacher couldn't get a gazelle, saying they had a strong will.

And Frank whistled and all the animals came.

It was so unfair.

"Stop fidgeting Gerard, you're making it nervous," Frank snapped.

Gerard stuck his tongue out and a rabbit flew at his chest.

"Dracula, you traitor!" Gerard said to the bunny, who really didn't care and just wanted a warm place to sit. Frank laughed, and Mikey petted the bunny. Gerard lay helpless under the fat bun, staring at the trees.

"You're very dramatic," Frank noted, suddenly in Gerard's face.

"I don't care," Gerard shrugged, trying to sound uninterested, but Frank was inches away.

"Whatever you say," Frank replied, backing away, over to the gazelle. Gerard really wanted a gazelle. Gerard pouted.

"Hey, Gee, you wanna hold Daisy?" Mikey asked, and Gerard glared.

"Keep that demon away from me. She chewed a hole the size of my hand in the back of my favorite shirt."

Mikey gasped, looking at the guilty bunny.

"Daisy!" He yelled, tapping her on the head. She clicked her teeth together in annoyance.

Suddenly, there was a high pitched squeak.

Gerard looked over to see the gazelle trying to sit in Frank's lap.

Except there was a problem.

Frank was smaller than the gazelle.

"No! Stop!" Frank swatted at the beast, but it sat down anyways.

Frank fell back, the gazelle sitting on his chest.

Gerard stifled a laugh.

"Okay, that's it. Class dismissed. Too many animals on people," the teacher said with a chuckle.

Gerard smiled, pushing fat Dracula off and hurrying to lunch.

~*~

It was music. Gerard was so excited.

Today, they would be competing for a solo.

Gerard was sure he would get it. That was if Frank wasn't in his line of sight. If he was, Gerard was screwed. There was just something about Frank's gaze that unnerved Gerard.

Gerard waited patiently as Brendon and Tyler sang. They were both really good, but Gerard would be singing something else.

He had given Josh, Ray, Mikey, and Frank the music earlier in the week. It was a very pop-punk-rock ish song, and it was awesome. With the guitar, it was perfect.

Gerard just hoped it was good enough.

Tyler had used the piano, and Josh.

Brendon had also used the piano, but his song had been just vocals and piano, no other instrument.

Gerard was going all the way, and he hoped it was worth it.

When Gerard began singing, he knew straight away he was going to win.

Patrick got this look in his eyes, that just screamed 'you won'.

Gerard sang loudly, putting his voice into it, really trying to make it sound good.

When the song ended, he felt the effects. His throat was a bit raw and he was panting.

"Well, that was..." Patrick didn't finish his sentence because Frank finished it for him.

"Amazing," Frank breathed, looking to Gerard's lips before back to his eyes. Gerard blinked.

Had Frank _complimented_ him?

"Thanks," Gerard replied, smiling shyly.

And Frank actually returned the smile.

Gerard had won, in more than one way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me: THAT IS A BIG FISH *whispers* that's what she said  
> My brother: What is a FISH??? A BUTT???
> 
> Brother: say 'i hope ur jelly'  
> Dad: I hope ur jello
> 
> Dad: go see what out neighbors doing  
> Brother: dad is seven thirty three  
> Dad: so  
> Me: Its late o'clock  
> Brother: LATE O'CLOCK
> 
> I'm literally listening to spongebob background music it's making me feel happy maybe I should just listen to it all the time and never be sad
> 
> next chapter will actually be very long and chaotic and important this is just a filler so I actually space out the plot


	8. Panic Attacks and Golden Wrists

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't FOCUS 
> 
> Jesus Christ I hate volleyball  
> 
> I'm an embarrassment to everyone I took a random guess that mariana's trench was 2000 feet deep but I didn't really mean 2000 I meant 20,000 and that's a bit closer but my brain was like 'AUTOCORRECT IT' and so I said 2000 out loud. 
> 
> Science is easy mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell I win

Ryan, Mikey, Josh, and Gerard sat in their cabin, on the floor. They were doing homework for plants and medicine, and Mikey was already done.

"You know, I think about Pete a lot," Mikey said in the silence of the cabin.

Gerard froze, looking up.

Mikey was looking back at his little bottle, adding a spice like he hadn't just said that.

"Like how? Like, friends? Or... you know, more than?" Ryan asked.

Mikey shrugged.

"I'm not really sure, I'll tell you when I figure it out."

Ryan nodded, and the cabin went back to silence.

"I think of Tyler," Josh blurted suddenly. Before Ryan could ask, he added, "As more than friends."

Gerard blinked. He hadn't expected this.

"I won't show my wrists, in case it ruins it. I want the hope that he's my soul mate, at least for a little bit."

"I understand," Ryan mumbled.

Mikey and Josh muttered, "Brendon," together.

It was almost painful, watching them. Ryan was shy and giggly, Brendon sassy and flirtatious.

Gerard didn't understand how they hadn't said anything to each other yet.

"What about you Gee?" Mikey nudged him, but Gerard focused on his herbs. "See anyone interesting?"

"No," Gerard replied, without any emotion. He didn't feel anything, towards anyone. Nothing. It's not like there was anyone to be interested _in_ , besides Frank. And Gerard was _not_ interested in Frank. 

~*~

Classes were becoming boring. Bows and Arrows, Plants and Medicines, Gathering, and Quills all had started being repetitive, the same thing daily. Only the boys who had that as their specialty were not dying of boredom each class. Only animal taming, art, and music were ok. And even those weren't as fun as they used to be.

~*~

"Mother of Fuck!" Frank screamed as a bear rubbed its head against him, pushing him into the ground.

"Mount it, I dare you," Brendon called from where he was holding a snake. Brendon loved snakes, mostly because they were hissy, sassy bitches, much like himself.

"I'm not mounting the damn bear!" Frank yelled back.

Brendon smirked.

"You think so?"

Before Frank could open his mouth to reply, the bear put its head under him, scooping him onto its back. Frank sighed, straightening himself on it and petting it's back.

Gerard watched curiously as Frank led it around the meadow. It followed him completely, making a rumbling noise.

Frank smiled a bit, and Gerard's heart stopped. Frank's smile was small, but it was powerful, never ceasing to make Gerard happier.

Gerard shook his head, looking down at the rabbit in his lap.

Lately, Fluffles had become a chubby bunny, taking snacks from friendly campers and teachers. She wasn't near the size of Dracula, though. No, Dracula was fat. Fluffles wasn't.

After Plants and Medicine, Gerard hurried to lunch.

He needed to be in the forest today.

He needed to clear his mind and calm himself down.

Or he would probably start crying.

Taking his lunch, Gerard made his way to his group of trees. They blocked the sound and view of other campers, and the teachers never looked there. It was a safe place. Gerard ate his lunch in peace, calming himself considerably.

He would be able to survive... today at least.

Gathering was boring.

Quills was worse.

Art was ok. All they did was chalk, and that was beginner level. Gerard had hoped for a challenge, but he didn't get one. It was kind of sucky.

He changed his mind when he got to music.

Patrick immediately handed out music sheets. Gerard could tell this would be fun.

Titled "The Run and Go", it was a solo, featuring a piano. It also had drums, whistling, and backing vocals. Messing with the vocals was going to be the fun part.

"Who's going to solo?" Patrick yelled, rushing around to set up the microphones.

"Cerebral thunder, one way conversations!" Tyler sang suddenly, and everyone stopped.

"Him," Mikey pointed at Tyler.

Tyler blushed.

"And everyone else will whistle and do backing vocals. Okay, let's get started!"

Tyler ran to the piano, putting his hands on the keys. The song began with Tyler alone, pressing a single key and singing. Then, Josh joined in. And then finally, the rest of the boys joined.

In the second verse, Brendon sang with Tyler, making it sound really nice. Then the whistling.

Mikey had a hard time getting it, and when he could, he couldn't keep a straight face.

The bridge quieted the song, and it was just Tyler and the piano again.

It then turned to whistling before Tyler and Josh join together.

Tyler got louder and the boys joined with his singing before Tyler screamed the last line and the song ended.

Everyone clapped for Tyler, and he smiled shyly, returning to the back of the group with Josh.

They talked quietly as Brendon and Ryan tried to sing the highest. Brendon won.

After class, when everyone else but Frank, Gerard, and Ryan had left, Ryan came to Gerard.

"I'm going to go talk to Frank. He's acting strange," Ryan said.

"What? No, he's not," Gerard argued, before stopping himself. Why was he defending Frank?

Ryan shrugged before walking over.

Gerard watched from the distance.

Ryan gestured to his wrists, and Frank went pale.

Ryan raised his wrists, showing Frank.

He said something to Frank, and Frank shook his head urgently.

He seemed to say something else and Frank looked guilty.

He slowly lifted his wrists, pulling his sleeves down.

Even from so far away, Gerard could see the scars littering his pale arms. It made him sad to see.

Ryan winced at the sight before looking at the word.

For a second he looked relieved, before his eyes went wide.

He moved close to Frank, whispering something to him.

Gerard saw Frank taking shallow breaths, looking at Ryan, panicked.

Ryan tried to touch Frank, but he jerked back, still breathing heavily. He turned around, meeting Gerard's eyes. He froze, before seeming to collapse. He started breathing very panicked, and he choked out a sob.

Ryan rushed over, and Gerard simply watched. He didn't know how to help.

Frank was gasping now, trying to catch his breath, but he couldn't. He tried to suck in a breath, sending him into a coughing fit. In the midst of his coughing, he grabbed at his hair, pulling at it and sobbing loudly. Ryan avoided touching him, comforting him from a foot away. Frank was weeping, scratching at his face, then his neck, down his arms, until he was tearing at his wrists.

Ryan saw this, trying to move his hands away from the wrist, but Frank wouldn't let him. He was still crying, letting out loud noises of distress as he took in short breaths.

Just then, Brendon showed up, taking in the scene.

He ignored Gerard, looking at Frank.

Brendon took in a shaky breath before he also spiraled into a  panic attack.

"Shit!" Ryan screamed. "Gerard, get Frank!"

Gerard nodded, and for a moment, there was nothing. Everything was black, and the only thing he saw was Frank. Frank, at the end of a tunnel, sitting and crying.

When he opened his eyes, he was on the ground.

Ryan stood above him, holding a bucket. Gerard noticed he was soaking wet.

"Go help Frank!" Ryan ordered, running off to Brendon.

Gerard got up, going to Frank.

When he noticed Gerard, his breathing picked up.

Gerard reached out to touch him, to calm him, but Frank jerked away.

Gerard looked to Ryan for help, but he paused when he saw what was happening.

Ryan had keeled in front of Brendon, a hand on his cheek. Brendon was breathing deeply. Ryan smiled, before looking at Brendon's hands. Brendon stopped him, grabbing his face. Ryan looked up, surprised, just as Brendon pressed their lips together. Ryan relaxed instantly, and he put his arms around Brendon's shoulder.

Only when the gold lighting from their wrists became too bright did they separate, looking at the golden words.

Even at such a distance, Gerard heard the three words they uttered at each other.

"I love you."

"I love you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It may seem okay now, but I am a quite evil person so I'd like to apologize in advance  
> This is shorter than I wanted it to be but these chapter r already pretty long and 1000 words is pretty long to me 
> 
> I can't believe ppl actually like my writing? I never thought 1000 ppl would read it? I never though ppl would even read this? And yet? Friends? Ur all amazing. Every single one of u.
> 
> Me: turns on kpop at the dinner table  
> Dad: dances  
> Brother: "I will stab ur kindle with a knife if u don't turn it off"
> 
> Dad: "I'm gonna make a song for teenagers. *rapping* put your plates, in the sink. Wash your hair, make your bed, fool. I think u went, to the party, with ur loser friends." It's just as awkward as the commas make it


	9. Sad things; I don't like sad things

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  this chapter is VERY MEH  
> Next one will be better I swear 
> 
> Me: this cake tastes weird  
> Brother: hey u know what this cake tastes like  
> Me: what  
> Him: Cake.  
> Me: *looks at phone and ignores him* 
> 
> So yesterday a girl was researching prostate cancer and she had pulled up a very mature content photo, and she would shut her computer. She would then invite boys to sit down, and she would open the computer and all the boys would be like "EWW NO GROSS WOAH STOP" and this one kid goes "Dont show that! I'm a guy! You can't show that!" And he just kinda laugh/cried for twenty minutes, saying that it was horrible she had the photo up. And then of course me being awkward had to correct their pronunciation of prostate And everyone was super horrified and I just kinda went 'oh well it's not like i am innocent' and explained the proper male anatomy because they are all idiots.
> 
> This thing may only last like 15-17 chapters depending if I can stretch it

Gerard turned back to Frank, who was still wide eyed and breathing heavily. Slowly, and carefully, he tried to once again calm Frank. Frank responded just as he had before, jerking away violently. Gerard let out a sigh, sitting next to Frank. Frank still looked on the verge of passing out, and Gerard sitting down next to him made it worse. Frank started sobbing quietly, trying to crawl away from Gerard. Gerard held up his hands in surrender, and Frank wailed. He squeezed his eyes shut, pulling at his hair. Gerard didn't know what he had done, but Frank was more upset than ever.

"Frank," Gerard begged. "Frank, please."

Frank hiccuped, hiding his face in his hands.

"I- I- You're-" Frank began, but he couldn't finished. It was obvious to Gerard that the words were stuck in Frank's throat, right there, but unable to leave.

"Tell me, please," Gerard begged again, touching Frank's arm suddenly. Frank leaned into the touch for a second, before pushing Gerard back, shaking his head. Gerard fell backwards, hitting his head on a rock. Everything was hazy.

"F-Frank," Gerard whispered.

"No!" Frank screamed, sobbing again. "Go away!"

"P-p-please."

"I don't want to fucking talk to you! Leave me alone!" Frank screeched.

Gerard sat up, regretting it instantly. Everything was blurry, and had a slight grey tint. But Gerard don't care about that. He cared about Frank.

"No, F-Frank, I'm not gon-gonna leave," Gerard stuttered, the haze getting a bit worse.

"Just go! I'm fine! I don't want your help! Why can't you understand?" Frank shrieked, tears running onto his shirt.

Gerard finally got it, turning and running into the woods.

Mikey saw this, and he ran after Gerard. Gerard dodged the trees expertly, going as deep as he could. Mikey quickly realised there was no way he was going to catch Gerard, not without getting lost. He turned back, almost stomping back to the clearing.

When he got there, he saw Ryan, sitting next to Frank. Frank had tears dripping down his face and he was shaking, but he was calmer than when Mikey had seen Gerard run off. Pete and Brendon were sitting nearby, eyes closed and breathing deeply.

"Is he ok?" Mikey asked timidly, looking at Frank. Ryan nodded, not explaining anything, and he turned his attention back to Frank. Mikey stood there, waiting to know what was going on. No one said anything, so Mikey walked over to Pete.

"Pete?" Mikey asked. Pete opened his eyes. Mikey pointed to Frank.

"Frank won't talk for a few hours. He's too scared."

"Scared of what?" Mikey asked.

Pete sighed.

"Things I can't tell you." Pete crossed his arms, revealing his wrist a bit.

Mikey took the chance to glance at his wrists. Before he could see the word clearly, Pete jerked his hands away, cradling them to his chest. He looked offended.

"I- I'm sorry," Mikey tried to say. "Here," Mikey put his wrists out. Pete looked unaffected, if not a little disappointed.

"They're not the same," Pete said simply, still hiding his wrists. Mikey felt a wave of anguish roll over him. He had hoped so much that Pete was his soul mate, and he wasn't. Mikey was lost. He had no one he could think of that he had this connection with, thus feeling. Mikey brushed it off, blinking back tears. He would have to wait and see.

~*~

Gerard came back late at night. He wasn't sure how late, but it was definitely past midnight. All he knows is that he walked into his cabin in as quietly as he could, but there was no point. He found Josh and Mikey sitting on their beds, looking like they were going to pass out any second. Ryan was cuddling with Brendon in the hammock in the corner, mumbling sweet things to each other.

"Oh my god, Gerard! I thought you got lost!" Mikey screamed, throwing himself into Gerard's arms. Gerard hugged him back.

"Glad you're safe," Josh murmured friendly before lying down and sleeping. Mikey looked like he could've stayed up all night.

"We need sleep," Gerard pointed out, as he was beginning to feel the effects. Mikey nodded, jumping into his bed.

Gerard lied in his bed. Once he heard Mikey snoring softly, he turned to the couple in the hammock. Gerard knew they weren't asleep. Sometimes soulmates don't sleep for days once they find their half, because they dont want to spend a second away from them. Before he could help it, Gerard was crying into his pillow.

"Gerard?" Brendon a asked.

"I'm, I'm never going to find my soul mate," Gerard cried. Ryan shushed him.

"Yes, you will," Ryan seemed confident in his answer.

"No, I really won't. And if I do, they'll hate me. I'm a loser, I'm a failure. No one can love me," Gerard whispered the ending.

"What if they think the same about themselves?" Brendon asked. Gerard thought about it, staying silent.

"Maybe you just haven't seen them yet," Ryan said, before curling back into Brendon.

Gerard rolled over, thinking of Ryan's word choice in his last statement.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am a dog, like, literally, fuck off vacuums
> 
> A praying mantis landed on my windshield and I went 'ill name it Susan' but I was listening to Tiffany Blews so I name her tiffany. Last night I actually dreamed that tiffany came back to me and it made me sad  
> Tiffany has abandoned me!
> 
> I changed my crushes contact pic to the word 'fish' (idk man) and so when he texts me his name shows up as 'fish soren' and I just laugh at it everything he texts me. Omg I told him his profile is fish and I screenshots and sent it to him and he told me to show me how to do it and that it was cool.. that was not the reaction I was expecting
> 
> RED LOBSTER ADS LEAVE ME ALONE
> 
> Does anyone know the fic The Love Experiment? Probably. But I dreamed that my crush was kinda like Frank's situation and he broke up with his girlfriend, telling me he liked someone else. But I didn't know it was me.
> 
> THIS CHAPTER IS SHORT I KNOW IM SORRY


	10. Betrayal and Golden Wrists

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FRIENDS ur all so nice and thank u all for the comments and look at how popular this has become already!! Remember, you are free to comment what you want, how you feel, how ur weeks been, or ask my anything. I am a friendly noodle 
> 
> I'm eating a bagel while editing this and it's delicious
> 
> I'm sad because I have a new piano at one house, and hundred year old mirror at the other, and nothings haunted. :( why are these ghosts not coming to say hi all I want is friends
> 
> My pineapple clock is continuing to hold the correct time and I'm quite suspicious bc it hasn't been on time for the last three months and no one in my house reset it 0_0 
> 
> I could call anyone of my friends and I can GUARANTEE that someone in their family is watching the football game right now
> 
> Someone signed up to a Movie Star Planet account with my email but no other devices have access to my account except my ex-boyfriend 0_o

Gerard had made up his mind. Everything was hopeless. There was no way he would ever meet his soul mate. They were probably across the globe, knowing his luck. Maybe they lived on Antarctica. Gerard didn't know, and he didn't care. He would not meet his soul mate. He would die alone, while everyone else had their halves. That's how it had to work. 

~*~

"So, you haven't seen his wrists?" Ryan asked Josh.

Josh nodded.

"I haven't. And he hasn't seen mine," Josh replied.

"Do you ever plan on showing him?" Mikey asked.

Josh shook his head.

"If he shows me, or I have an opportunity to know, I'll take it. But I won't ask him to show me."

Mikey nodded, looking at Gerard. Gerard froze. He had been sitting quietly, drawing and listening to them sort out their problems together.

"Do you want to talk about anything, Gee?" Mikey asked, trying to get him in the conversation.

_'Well, let's see. I like Frank, but I really don't like Frank. It's confusing. I'm super jealous he has all the rabbits, but that's stupid. He's so good in music too, but he's quiet. He won't get up in front of anyone, and if he's pressured, he leaves. I'm so confused about my feelings towards him, and its like I'm drawn to him. But I don't like him. It doesn't make sense, so... help?'_

"No."

"Okay," Mikey frowned. "I'll go on about mine then. Pete Wentz."

Ryan and Josh groaned.

"Dude, he's not your soul mate," Josh said. They were all tired of hearing Mikey's rambles of Pete.

"I know! I just, I just feel a pull! Like I'm meant to be with him. It's not fair!"

"I know," Ryan rubbed his arm, and Gerard felt jealous for a second.

"I wish we were soul mates," Mikey said, tears springing to his eyes.

"Have you ever seen his wrists?" Gerard asked, spooking Ryan.

"No," Mikey shook his head, sniffling. "What does that matter?"

"How do you know he's not your soul mate?"

"He said so," Mikey defended.

"Do you believe him?" Gerard asked.

Mikey nodded.

"Completely."

Gerard tilted his head, and he said Mikey breaking a bit.

"Okay, not really," Mikey admitted. "But I just have this instinct to trust him. And believe him. But at the same time, I don't. I think he's lying."

"Follow your heart," Gerard mumbled, before going silent once again.

~*~

Tyler walked quickly to lunch. He wanted to sit and eat, without the chance of someone hurting him or yelling. That would be horrible.

Reaching the lunch room, he let out a soft sigh. Josh was sitting at the table in his usual spot, waiting for Tyler. Tyler was so happy he had Josh. It was like they were natural friends, drawn to each other. It was amazing how much they trusted each other, no chance that the other could lie. They were best friends in seconds, and Tyler couldn't have been happier.

Grabbing a tray and some food, Tyler nearly skipped to the table. He sat his tray down cheerfully, smiling at Josh as he nearly tripped on his seat. The others filled in within the next few minutes, but Tyler and Josh were always the first two there. That's just how it was.

"So, did you enjoy cuddling that bunny in animal taming?" Josh asked, a smile lighting up his face. Tyler nodded.

"I think it's name was Violet or something. It was so soft!" Tyler said.

Josh chuckled.

"I could tell, with the way you were rubbing it on your face and all."

"It was _soft_!" Tyler defended, punching Josh on the arm lightly.

He didn't notice as his wristband slid down, revealing the skin of his wrist.

Josh laughed a little bit, before he went dead silent. Tyler thought he just got lost in his head, but when he looked up, Josh was stating at him. Josh was nearly shaking, and Josh wanted to reach out. He almost did.

Just as his hand was halfway across the table, Josh grabbed his suddenly, twisting it around.

Tyler let out a cry of pain before he realised what Josh was doing.

Tyler gasped, screaming loudly.

Nearby tables tried to see, and Tyler felt like he was on display.

He tried to pull his arm away, but Josh had a tough grip. Tyler sobbed, resting his head on the table, giving up. He felt his arm being released, but he refused to look up. He refused to look in the face of best friend, the only friend to betray him.

"Tyler," Josh said urgently, and Tyler almost sat up.

"Tyler," Josh repeated, and Tyler whimpered.

"Tyler," Gerard's voice joined Josh's, and Tyler finally lifted himself up, using what little strength he had left. He knew his face was probably red.

"Look," Josh said, but Tyler kept his eyes glued to the table. "Tyler!" Josh finally yelled, and Tyler looked up out of habit.

" _Look_ ," Josh insisted, shoving his wrist in Tyler's face. Tyler finally focused his eyes on the ink, only to gasp.

On his wrist, he had the same word as Tyler.

Tyler relaxed, and since Josh was across the table, he settled for holding his hand. Tyler closed his eyes, taking a few calming breaths. He had just met his soul mate.

"I'm sorry," Josh whispered. "I didn't mean to betray you like that."

"It's ok," Tyler smiled weakly. "I got a soul mate out of it, so guess it's alright."

Josh smiled widely, and Tyler never wanted to see that smiled ever leave.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay the literal theme this chapter is being drawn to each other 
> 
> Writing Tyler's perspective was really cool, and I feel like his point of view had a really good quality
> 
> Did I wear my spn shirt and backpack to the air/car show?  
> You bet.  
> Did I see a black impala?  
> No.
> 
> The reason I have a plan for the plot isn't so I have it planned and ready, it's so that I don't just go off the plot so far that the story ends like ten chapters early and I kill a character by accident
> 
> I could be Tyler Joseph for Halloween  
> I have a floral overcoat thing from Lane Boy
> 
> My cats sitting in my lap right now and I'm appreciating it oh  
> Oh   
> She left
> 
> I was researching deep sea creatures in math class and vampire squid came up and just said, "Vampire squid. MY BRETHREN!" And this girl just says my name and stares at me and I'm like 'what'
> 
> I pointed at a trash can in gym and said "my home" and my friend just laughed at me
> 
> A girl made a Chewbacca noise in gym class and the teacher just goes, "that is NOT and ostrich noise!!" And the girls retorts, "How do you know?"  
> And I was SO confused


	11. Frank's a wuss, Brendon is only slightly rude, Pete Finally Faces His Feelings, and Ryan's Milk Snake is Mentioned

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like these ghosts are purposely disrespecting me
> 
> If someone read mind they'd be very scared because while I was lying here I randomly screamed in my thoughts, "IM A BUTTERFLY"  if anyone tries to secretly read my mind I will definitely catch them because they will probably roll their eyes and scoff a lot
> 
> My word counting website has an aLtErNaTiNg feature where iT dOeS tHiS tO yOuR eNtIrE wRiTiNg and I think if I posted a chapter like that u guys would yell at me
> 
> Thanks to Ilovemikeyway for actually getting me to write this chapter by giving me accidental ideas in their comment! <3 <3 <3
> 
> I just read the newest Revolution on Canvas chapter, so if you catch the pretty obvious reference, _I'm sorry I **had** to_

"I have a problem," Pete announced, falling onto his bed. Frank looked up, before ignoring Pete and giving his guitar all of his attention.

"It's serious," Pete added.

Frank gestured across the room.

"Tyler, help him. I'm not in the mood," Frank said, with some venom.

"What crawled in your pants?" Tyler asked, sitting on Pete's bed.

"Gerard," Brendon giggled. Frank narrowed his eyes at him.

"Okay," Tyler turned to Pete, "what's your problem?"

Pete mumbled something, but only the pillow knew what.

"Huh?" Tyler asked.

Pete repeated it, louder, but it was still incoherent.

"Fucking speak up, Petey," Frank rolled his eyes.

Pete immediately lifted his head, a startled look on his face.

"Don't _ever_ call me Petey."

He went to put his face back in the pillow, but Tyler pulled him up.

"What is your problem?" He asked in a professional voice that made Frank snicker.

"Ilovemikeyway," Pete said quickly, and all of the boys gaped.

Frank put his guitar down angrily, but gently, walking up to Pete and whacking him on the head.

"What was that for?"

"For lying to your soul mate!" Frank screeched.

Brendon made a noise.

"What?" Frank asked rudely.

"You are a _huge_ hypocrite," Brendon shrugged.

Frank glared at him, before sitting on Pete's bed with the others. Tyler was sitting on the bed, dragging his hands down his face. Pete had just shoved his face back into the pillow.

"I'm gonna leave," Frank decided.

"Gonna go cuddle some bunnies, Frankie?" Brendon asked in a baby voice, and Frank flipped him off.

Fucking Brendon.

Fucking Pete.

Fucking Gerard.

Frank had enough.

He was going to cuddle a rabbit, and then he would tell Gerard. He would do it. He wouldn't back out this time, no. He had to do it.

Frank huffed, stomping his way to where the bunnies hid. He only needed to get near the meadow for the buns to come out.

"Ghoul! Come here," Frank said, scooping the dark chocolate colored rabbit into his arms. Ghoul clicked his teeth happily, and Frank cooed.

If he was allowed, he would keep Ghoul with him in his cabin. Sadly, keeping wild animals in the cabins was forbidden, except for Ryan.

Apparently, Ryan snuck a milk snake into his room, and none of the teachers cared. So Ryan kept it. There is a rumor that Ryan named the snake after himself, but Frank's not sure. He thought Ryan probably named it Brendon, or something like 'stuck up prick'.

After cuddling Ghoul for a good twenty minutes, he released the bunny so he could attend lunch.

He would tell Gerard _right_ after lunch.

~*~

As Frank finished his lunch, he was shaking.

"Dude, are you ok?" Pete asked.

Frank nodded, wearing an unconvincing smile.

Tyler saw right through it.

"Okay, what is up with you? You stormed out to cuddle Ghoul, and now your an anxious mess. Why?" Tyler crossed his arms.

Frank stayed silent and they began a silence battle to the death. During this battle, Josh came by, giving Tyler a quick kiss on the cheek, but he didn't say a word. Brendon also nearly tore Ryan's clothes off right next to him, but Frank didn't move a muscle.

Eventually the lunch staff forced them out, and they both apologised.

"It's a tie," Tyler muttered.

"Yeah, no. You apologised to the lady first."

"Only because she expected us to! If I hadn't said anything, you definitely wouldn't've!"

"Whatever," Frank brushed it off, walking ahead and hoping Tyler forgot about his mental conflict. Sadly, Tyler didn't.

"Hey, Frank! You never told me what was bugging you."

And suddenly all of Frank's worry bubbled over him and he was shaking again.

"Woah, Frank!" Tyler yelled as Frank collapsed in his arms.

"How am I supposed to tell Gerard?" Frank whispered, choking back tears and cursing that annoying pain in his throat.

"Oh," Tyler whispered back.

"I don't know what to do. Surely, he'll hate me. There's no way anyone wants me."

"Shh, that's a lie," Tyler spoke softly, yet strongly.

"But it's not. I'm-I'm broken."

"Aren't we all?"

~*~

Frank didn't go through with it. Somehow the cons outweighed the pros too much, and he couldn't do it. And now he was staring at the ceiling in his cabin, imagining Gerard lying beside him. Frank sighed, knowing these fantasies would never come true.

"Did you have a rough day?" Brendon asked, and Frank assumed he was mocking.

"Fuck off," was Frank's reply.

"No, I'm serious. Are you ok?"

Frank said nothing.

"Are you... you know, again?" Brendon asked, and Frank rolled his eyes at his friends' caution of the word.

"I'm not cutting again, if that's what you're asking. There's no alcohol here, and I don't have access to pills. And there isn't a noose on a tree in the forest."

"O-ok," Brendon stuttered. "I'm just checking. After last time..."

"We all know what happened last time, you don't need to remind me," Frank hissed, rolling over.

He _really_ wished he could tell Gerard, but he knows what would happen. The hate, the disgust, the insults. And he really can't go through that again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OH GOD GUYS I HAVE AN ALTERNATE ENDING FOR THIS PLANNED AND GOING TO BE WRITTEN I DON'T KNOW IF IM EMOTIONALLY STABLE ENOUGH FOR THIS OH GAWD ITS GONNA CRUSH UR POOR SOULS  
> (But we still have 3 chapter before that so u have time to prepare)
> 
> It's almost confirmed that my rabbit is dead because he hasn't been eating his food and no one has seen him in the last four days, so we're left to guess what got him. Owl? Coyote? Cat? We'll never know. Oh well
> 
> I somehow hoped that if I ignored the A# minor scale it would go away, but it didn't, and my piano teacher is bribing me to do my scales with new Halloween pieces
> 
> Good news I got a four page piece called ' The Ghost in Our Piano' that I can use to procrastinate my classical book.
> 
> Snuck is a cool word I like it it's my word of the day


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm on a Kesha, hair bows, and cute skirt binge right now
> 
> I swear to god the other flute players in my band class just WANT to fail  
> I called the saxophones' new high note 'screaming children'  
> The piano players in band class are the only ones who know what they're doing 
> 
> I'm not the best at Spanish, but I know what words matter. Estético
> 
> It is 4:24 and I've probably been sitting here just writing the notes before I even start the chapter  
> It is 5:40 and I am nearing the end of writing the chapter  
> It is 6:07 and I'm editing the chapter  
> It is 6:14 and I'm posting the chapter
> 
> I feel like I should've put more chocolate milk in here...  
> Next chapter

Gerard sat in his usual spot, angrily sipping on chocolate milk. Well, he tried to angrily sip on the chocolate milk. It looked more like a pouting kindergartener trying to look tough. Mikey noticed, taking the chocolate milk away from Gerard so he had nothing to pout with.

"Hey, gimme!" Gerard grabbed for it. Mikey shook his head, taking it for himself. While in the midst of taking a large gulp, Gerard hit the cup. And Mikey jerked his hand. And the chocolate milk went everywhere.

"Goddamnit, not again," Frank grumbled, sitting in front of Gerard. Gerard shrugged, before smiling at his brother. Mikey had his eyes narrowed, and chocolate milk dripped down his face. Ryan handed him a napkin, but Mikey denied. He refused to accept defeat.

"What?" Gerard asked, mocking innocence.

Mikey rolled his eyes, before breaking into a creepy grin. Gerard tensed warily.

"Moiiiiikey," Gerard drew his name out, scooting back in small increments. Mikey said nothing, flashing his teeth once more before Gerard felt something nice cold hit the side of his face.

He gasped loudly, blinking rapidly. Mikey was laughing, along with someone else. Pete. Gerard turned to Pete, greeted with Pete holding an empty orange juice cup. Gerard connected the pieces.

"Thanks, Pete," he said with a huge amount of sarcasm.

"Yeah," Mikey agreed, except he was sincere, "thanks, Pete."

They high fived while Gerard examined his hair. He would probably need a shower. He hoped not.

Gerard ate the rest of his breakfast, only launching a couple spoons of cereal at Mikey, both of which he dodged.

When Gerard left breakfast, he felt worse than he did when he woke up, and that sucked.

Gerard woke up from a dream with frank. Frank was holding a puppy in his arms, and smiling. And suddenly Gerard was in a house, and Frank came down the stairs in a suit. Almost by reflex, Gerard had given him a kiss before he left. Frank has smiled, waving, and Gerard caught sight of his clear wrists. They had no word, and he wasn't a soul mate. Gerard woke up a bit shocked, both from what dream Gerard had done, and Frank with clear wrists. Gerard was worried what the dream meant.

He refused to believe it meant that he liked Frank.

He didn't like Frank.

~*~

Frank faced the same dilemma. He lied on his bed, unmoving. After getting back from breakfast, he had felt like something was wrong. There was this slight suffocation in his chest, the type you get when you hold your breath and let it out when you're disappointed. But Frank didn't know why he was disappointed. His friends were good, he wasn't failing anything, he wasn't expecting anything. He was confused.

A sudden knock in the door made him lift his head. Pete got up to answer it. It was Patrick.

"So, tonight's a pet ceremony," Patrick said.

"What's that?" Pete responded.

"A ceremony, where if an animal chooses you, you can keep it. We do it on the full moon so it's bright enough for us to see, but also dark enough so the animals feel safe."

"Oh," Pete shrugged.

"You'll come, right?" Patrick asked, and he sounded desperate. Frank snickered silently.

"I don't know," Pete replied.

"Pllleaaaase," Patrick whined. Pete nodded.

"Fine," Pete sighed.

"Yay! Thanks, Pete!" Patrick yelled, kissing Pete's cheek and prancing off.

Pete touched his cheek lightly, walking and sitting on his bed with a slightly confused look on his face.

Frank smirked and dragged the word out,

"Thaaanks, Peettee." Pete rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, _THANKS PETE_!" Brendon yelled, running into the cabin with Ryan.

"At least I didn't make sex jokes towards the teacher," Pete said.

"That was an accident! I wasn't trying to imply anything! It's a bad habit," Brendon said.

"Implying sex is a bad habit?" Pete raised his eyebrows.

"In another life, it is a reality," Brendon replied.

"You love sex though," Frank added.

"How about you shut your mouth, Stacy?" Brendon passed, guiding Ryan to his bed.

"Don't fuck in here. If anything, fuck in the forest," Frank said when Ryan panted in a kiss.

Brendon flipped him off, and Frank shrugged, walking outside.

~*~

Gerard and Mikey were lying on their beds like teenage girls, on their stomachs, legs crossed, hands supporting their faces. And they sat, talking about how amazing their crushes were and how it sucked that they weren't soul mates.

They had decided to skip the pet ceremony, knowing fully that neither of them could care for themselves, let alone a _pet_. That left them with almost three hours to do nothing. So they talked. Everyone else had left for the ceremony, so no one bothered them.

That was until a knock sounded on the door.

Gerard got up, expecting to be faced with Ryan or Josh.

Instead, Frank stood there, smiling and holding a wolf puppy.

Gerard nearly passed out. He looked just like he did in his dream. Down to the dog. Gerard desperately tried to calm his breathing.

"Hey," Frank said.

"Hi."

"Are you coming to the pet ceremony?" Frank asked, a ghost of a frown pulling on his lips.

"I don't want a pet. It'll die. I'm allergic to cats. Dogs are slobbery. Birds are loud and fish are boring. And I don't want a fucking turtle," Gerard shrugged. Frank shrugged back, turning to Mikey.

Mikey smiled, nodding.

"I'd like a fucking turtle," he decided.

"Hey, don't curse-"

"Shut up mom, I'm going to get a turtle," Mikey stuck out his tongue and ran down the path, leaving Gerard, who cross his arms. Gerard sighed.

"I want a pet soul mate," Gerard thought aloud. Frank snickered. "Don't you want to find your soul mate?" Gerard asked, narrowing his eyes at the shorter boy.

"I don't know. I know who it is, but they don't know mine, because, well, you know.... but I don't know if I will tell them," Frank said.

"Are you kidding me? Please tell them! Someone is probably dying to know their other half and you have the knowledge and you're withholding it!" Gerard screamed. If his soul mate withheld this information from Gerard, he would strangle them. Well, no, he wouldn't actually.

"I don't know. I don't think anyone wants a soul mate like me," Frank whispered, and everything went silent.

Gerard yearned to say something, anything, besides _that_.

The only thought in his head.

'I do. I do. I want a soul mate just like you. I want you. I do'.

Gerard sighed, choked up by his words. Frank had tears in his eyes.

"Alright, bye," Frank murmured, taking the dog and walking out.

Gerard was so close to calling out to him, it was deadly. But he didn't.

So he settled for groaning, flopping on the bed, and falling asleep.

He only woke up to Mikey holding a turtle.

"W't's 's name?" Gerard slurred.

"Kingston," Mikey smiled, and Gerard smiled back, before going back to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Random words of the day:  
> Snickered  
> hippopotomonstrosesquipedaliophobia
> 
> So many _things_ in this chapter
> 
> Earlier chapter bc I haven't left my room for two hours straight
> 
> School is stressing me out so bad. I have 9 projects and assessment due. all due either tomorrow or next week.
> 
> I KEEP TRYING TO END EACH CHAPTER SADLY BUT I DONT WANNA DO THAT
> 
> oh and btw THANK U GUYS SO MUCH I FORGOT TO THANK U ALL AND I SHOULD DO IT MORE OFTEN BUT THANKS TO ALL MY READERS, COMMENTORS, BOOKMARKERS, AND KUDO-ERS!!!!!


	13. drama, sass, screaming, a turtle bite, dark forests, imaginary explanations, and golden wrists

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Skitch I'm pretty sure ur ghosts came through I heard someone crying but I'm alone in my room O_O 
> 
> So I went to the chili festival last night  
> I spent all of my $20 on a mini guitar  
> I'm so close to being Tyler Joseph  
> I need the sunglasses  
> But I feel  
> It's like twelve hours later and I never finished that sentence and I'm left  wondering what I was going to put
> 
> If anyone wants to write a Bandom band class and have Frank play the flute, pls write it and send me the link, because I _need_ this to exist.
> 
> MY CRUSH KNOWS I LIKE HIM ABORT ABORT
> 
> The beginning of this is directly being quoted from the book The Merciless by Danielle Vega.

"So what's going on with you and Gerard?" Brendon asked, plopping down next to Frank.

"There is no me and Gerard," Frank replied.

"Oh, puh-lease. I saw the way you undressed him with your eyes," Brendon smirked. "You _want_ him."

"Oh, are we talking about Frank's crush?" Ryan said, joining Brendon.

"It's not a crush," Frank defended quickly. "I just... like his arms." Brendon sits back, laughing hard, and Ryan makes kissy noises.

"Shut up!" Frank swats at them, but he can't deny that he's giggling along too.

"My what fabulous taste you have. Gerard's a ten," Brendon said, getting hit by Ryan. "Hey, your an eleven, so stop!"

"Good," Ryan said, ceasing in his hitting. He turned to Frank, thinking. "Why do you like Gerard?"

"He's pretty," Frank said, before realising what he said and quickly adding, "in a feminine way."

Now both Ryan and Brendon were howling in laughter while Frank pouted in a shade of cherry.

"In no way did you even try to fix what you said, you just made it worse."

Frank blushed, covering his face with his hands.

"I knooow," he whined. "I am literally a walking noodle."

~*~

"I _need_ love!" Gerard screamed, dramatically jumping onto his head.

"Oh my god, drama queen. Get down," Ryan patted the bed, but Gerard stayed on it.

"Everything's hopeless! Life is pointless!" Gerard screeched. Mikey got on the bed next to him, and they started jumping up and down.

"Yeah, same! Life sucks!" Mikey yelled.

"I know! I'll never find love!"

"Exactly!"

"We'll die alone, together!"

"Yesss!"

"I love you so much, Gerard!" Mikey tackled Gerard into a hug.

"Love you too Mikes, but I can't breathe!" Gerard screeched.

"Why are we still screaming?!" Mikey asked.

"I don't know, but I don't care, because I'll never find love!" Gerard screamed, and they began the conversation again.

Ryan had left, probably to be with Brendon, so Mikey and Gerard were alone.

"You wanna see how long it take Kingston to run from one end of the cabin to the other?" Mikey asked, and only then did Gerard remember that Mikey had a turtle.

"Kingston!" Mikey called, and Gerard swore he saw a tear roll down the poor turtle's face.

"Maybe we should let him sleep," Gerard said, and the turtle seemed to nod.

"Nah, I don't think so," Mikey said as he grabbed the squirming turtle. "Come on, let's do a trial run and then we'll time it three times. You'll have fun, won't you Kingston?" Mikey cooed.

Kingston bit him.

~*~

Tyler, Josh, Pete, and Frank sat in the pitch black forest. Tyler had an antique candle holder, so they had a little light, but not much. So they sat in a circle, and didn't say a word. It could've been mistaken as a seance, except none of them could talk to the dead.

"So, Pete, would you like to start?" Tyler asked.

"Start what?" Pete asked, and Frank hit him.

"Freaking talking about your problems, I'm guessing," Frank said, and Tyler nodded.

"Okay," Pete started, "but, like, _Mikey_."

Frank groaned.

"Hey, shut up, Frank. You still haven't said anything to Gerard. That's really unhealthy. He could start feeling hopeless."

Frank bit his lip, because he knew it was true. Frank could almost see the suicide built in the bottom Gerard's soul. It hurt Frank.

"Hey, hey, hey, no guilt tripping!" Josh interjected, and Pete shrugged. Frank brushed a stray tear out of his eye.

"So yeah, I haven't told Gerard, and it sucks. I'm just so scared of rejection," Frank admitted, but he wasn't really admitting it, because he had said it many times before.

"Ok, then. Pete, man up and stop lying and Frank, grow some balls, man," Josh smiled, and Frank and Pete flipped him off. Tyler kissed him on the cheek and he asked wider, causing Frank to move closer and flip him off in his face.

Josh said nothing, getting up and starting back with Tyler.

About half way home, the candle blew out, and before Tyler could relight it, Frank stepped behind some bushes. He stayed there until the footsteps were gone, and he was alone.

Finally, he was actually alone.

Frank relaxed, sitting back against the tree. He could almost feel a pull from Gerard, back in the camp. But he couldn't wouldn't go.

He would sit here and squeeze his eyes shut, and when he would open them, he would still be alone.

But that wasn't the case.

Frank opened his eyes, landing on the tree in front of him. Well, who was under the tree.

It was Gerard, but with flaming red hair. He was glaring at Frank mischievously and it made Frank nervous.

"Gee?" Frank asked softly. The Gerard imposter shook his head.

"I'm Party Poison," he smiled, and Frank shivered. Unlike Gerard's warming smile, Party Poison's smile was pained.

"Why are you here?" Frank asked. Party Poison shrugged.

"You tell me. We're only in your mind," he smirked.

"We're?" Frank asked, and another figure was there. He looked exactly like Tyler, but with bright red irises.

"My name's Blurryface," he said, and his voice was deep. Much deeper than Tyler's. "This is Spooky Jim," a third guy appeared, this one being Josh. He had bright red hair, like he did in real life, but he wore red makeup around his eyes, and he seemed to be covered in a light dusting of snow.

"Kobra Kid," a Mikey lookalike added. His hair was blond and he seemed more confident.

"Ryro."

"Beebo."

The Ryan and Brendon doubles were quite creepy. Both were slightly steampunk, wearing eyeliner. Frank wondered why they kept they're real life names.

"Because Ryan and Brendon are sucky names," Beebo answered Frank's unasked question. And lastly, Pete showed up.

"I'm Petepanda!" He said, and the other glared at him. "What? I couldn't think of anything!"

Party Poison rolled his eyes. Frank continued to watch as they began an disagreement about who killed Beebo. Party Poison was convinced that it was Mary, but Pete swore it was a butter. Beebo refused to say anything.

Frank decided he was done, but just as he got up, someone else showed up.

It was Frank, but it wasn't. Frank didn't have long hair, and he sure as hell didn't wear any color besides black or red, so this couldn't be Frank.

"Fun Ghoul," he said, smiling and extending a hand. Frank didn't move to shake it. He turned around, leaving the forest.

"Oh, Frank!" Fun Ghoul called, and Frank turned slowly.

He was greeted with Fun Ghoul pulling Party Poison close, and kissing the everliving fuck out of him. Party Poison's knees nearly buckled, and Fun Ghoul giggled. Party Poison but Fun Ghoul's lip, and there was a moan.

Frank sighed, running back to camp, away from the dopplegangers.

~*~

"Mikey, I need to tell you something?" Pete asked, even though that shouldn't have been a question.

"Yes?" Mikey replied, and a tiny flare of hope kept nagging. Maybe he would be Mikey's soul mate after all. No, just wishful thinking.

"Errr, your my soul mate," Pete said quietly and quickly, but Mikey still heard it. He held up his wrists, and Mikey saw the word clearly. He pinched himself to see if he was dreaming.

"Really?" Mikey asked.

Pete's lips turned to a line and he nodded.

"Oh my god!" Mikey screeched, tackling the smaller boy and kissing him. "Oh my god!" He repeated.

Pete smiled, and he looked down, seeing his Doldrums written in a beautiful gold.

"Oh, I love you!" Mikey screamed, never wanting to let Pete go.

"I love ya too, but you're suffocating me?"

"Oh?" Mikey released his arms, blushing. "Oh."

"No, it's okay. Just too tight."

Mikey kissed his nose, and Pete smiled widely.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's not meant to be sad or scary it's just Frank's mind trying to explain his feelings in figments of his imagination
> 
> I just came back from Texas roadhouse  
> I ate at least 7 rolls bc those r heaven I swear  
> There was a boy who looked like Robbie Kay and Ryan Ross mixed and he was cuute  
> Dad: *gets cinnamon sugar butter on finger*  
> Dad: *looks around for napkin*  
> Brother: Just eat it!  
> Dad: no it has ur cooties on it  
> My dad literally said that
> 
> Instead of working on this chapter I learned how to play Heaven Help Us on the piano  
> I also watched this video, which killed me--> http://m.youtube.com/#/watch?v=KG_VwL1bxE4
> 
> Next chapter is the really sad one and then after that it's the alternate ending, and then of course I will continue with the story as planned.  
> So BE READY FOR STUFFZ OH GAWD
> 
> Fuck hygiene I needed to write this more than I need a shower


	14. TRIGGER WARNING THIS IS THE SAD CHAPTER

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh god oh god oh god oh god  
> Next chapter is the alternate ending! Ill post it with a bunch of warning and things of course so no one gets confused. After the alternate ending, the story will return to normal, like none of the alternate ending happened.
> 
> It's 2:30 AM I'm insane why am I writing I should be asleep
> 
> Heaven Help us is a good song for this chapter.
> 
>  
> 
> TRIGGER WARNING  
> ^^^^^^^^^^^^  
> DEPRESSION, SELF HARM,  AND SUICIDE ATTEMPT ALERT  
> ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^  
> If any of these trigger you, please don't read this. You can always ask me for a summary if you need!!  
> Please don't risk your health for a chapter!!

Mikey had noticed. He had seen the way Gerard was going back to his quiet ways, staying toward the back of the group. The way Gerard didn't respond to sarcastic comments and jokes the way he used to. Mikey noticed it all. And it was scary.

Gerard was slowly inching away, acting like a ghost that was there one second, and gone the next.

He was becoming frustrated in art, throwing away multiple drawing and restarting on his pottery multiple times. He couldn't find inspiration, couldn't find a reason to make art, so he didn't.

First, he skipped art. He would hang out into the forest, alone.

Then, he dropped music. He couldn't sing the right pitches, couldn't get the desired sound, and he was violent with himself. One class, he had stopped singing and began scratching at his throat. Josh and Tyler had to physically restrain him to get him to stop. It worried Mikey, how hateful Gerard became towards himself.

Sometime, Gerard had stopped caring. He had given up. Broken down. Mikey wasn't sure when, but it happened.

Gerard stared, watching the ceiling. He didn't move unless someone brought him food or he had to go to the bathroom. He didn't attend classes, or visit the forest anymore. He just... lied there.

And it took its toll on everyone.

Josh didn't smile as often. He still did, but they weren't as big or bright.

Ryan didn't sass anyone. He stayed polite, holding nice conversation.

Tyler was quieter. He was shyer without Gerard there to silently support him.

Brendon wasn't as flamboyant. He toned down, being mellow and nice, much like Ryan.

Pete was shaky again. He was constantly paranoid, no matter how much Mikey tried to calm him.

Frank was hiding his wrists again. He never wore anything but long hoodies. He was stuttering sometimes, too.

Mikey was just a mess, trying to balance Pete and Gerard and school and his friends. It was tough, and it sucked. And everyone was worried for Gerard, but no one was strong enough to actually go up to him.

~*~

Gerard lied on his bed, pondering his existence. He was useless, it was decided. He had no point on this planet, and if he did, it was minuscule. There was no reason to be on earth, because Gerard didn't have his other half. What if his other half was happen? What if they found someone who wasn't a soul mate, and they fell in love? Then it wouldn't matter if Gerard died, because his soulmate's wrists would be empty. And wouldn't that be easy. Just to give up, disappear. No one has a trace that you were ever alive, not even a shared word written in ink. It was perfect. Gerard really hated himself. He was a fuck up. No one liked him, he was annoying, and he dragged people down. He was just a burden that slowed everyone down, and that's why he needed to disappear. The obvious solution was to avoid his friends. Stay in bed all day, never see them in class. Be asleep when they get home, don't deal with them at all. Without friends is how you disappear. Without a soul mate is how you disappear.

Gerard considered this as he searched for the sharpest thing he could find in the room. There wasn't much, considering they didn't have many met things, aside for things like oil lamps and metal on the stove. Gerard continued to searched around, knowing the group would not come home tonight. It was too late, they were staying at the other cabin. The one where they all have soulmates.

Gerard would admit that he was slightly bitter. He was jealous, envious of his lucky friends, who had such easy access to soulmates. It wasn't fair

Gerard had to suffer, so he wouldn't.

He would end his suffering, tonight.

Gerard made a happy noise as he found one of Josh's sharp arrowheads. It wasn't metal, but it was a very sharp stone.

Gerard sat in the middle of the floor, rolling up his sleeves. He set the small rock to his arm, really thinking. Could he go through this? What would Mikey think? Would Mikey be upset?

 _They wouldn't care,_ a voice in Gerard's head said, and he believes it. No one would care, they would be glad he was gone.

And Gerard applied pressure. A familiar pain of the cut surfaced and Gerard smiled. It stung, and the rock wasn't as precise as metal would've been, so instead of a clean line, the wound was a bit torn. Gerard pulled the arrowhead straight down his forearm, then circling his wrist like a bracelet. He switched to the other arm, ignoring the dull sting, tearing another line in his flesh. Gerard cried hard as he finished.

He already felt lightheaded.

He felt like he should lie down. So he did.

And now he lied on the floor, arms exposed to whatever God was there.

Gerard was ready. He knew the second when the colors of the room became flashy. He knew he was going to pass out any second, but he was ready. Ready to face this death.

"I'm not o-fucking-kay!" He screamed a final goodbye. "My Chemical Romance!"

~*~

Mikey had felt something wrong. He felt like something was left on, or a pet was left unfed.

Something was missing, something was gone.

Mikey ran from Pete's cabin to his, barging in the doors. At first he thought it was empty, but then he walked around. Out of view from the door, Gerard was lying on the floor. He was smiling lightly, with his arms gushsing blood. His eyes were fluttering, and he looked so close to passing out.

Mikey collapsed onto his knees, shaking Gerard's arm. He murmured something, and his words were slurred. Mikey sighed, and tears began slipping down his cheeks. He knew this would happen, why couldn't he stop it?

Mikey sat still for a few moments before his brain could process. He needed to save Gerard. Mikey rushed to the emergency kit, and he began screamed for help. Mikey tried bandages Gerard's arms, but he was losing too much blood.

"Help!" Mikey screeched, his voice already hoarse from trying to save his brother.

"Someone save us!" Mikey screamed, hitting his fist on the ground.

He squeezed his eyes tight, and when he opened them, teachers stood in the doorway.

Mikey was okay.

Gerard would be saved.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know why it surprised me that I can write suicidal stuff in less than a third of the time it takes me to write a normal chapter


	15. THE ALTERNATE ENDING

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING  
> ^^^^^^^^^^^^  
> SUICIDE, SELF HARM, AND CHARACTER DEATH WARNING  
> ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^  
> Oh god the PAIN I'm sorry enjoy having your heart brutally torn out

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A rewrite, that for the first part, is a copy and paste of last chapter. Skip it, or read it, just do what you want. 
> 
> This will not affect the future plot at all, this is just for the pain
> 
> Next chapter will be a normal chapter, acting as if this never existed.

It wasn't fair Gerard had to suffer, so he wouldn't. He would end his suffering, tonight.

Gerard made a happy noise as he found one of Josh's sharp arrowheads. It wasn't metal, but it was a very sharp stone. Gerard sat in the middle of the floor, rolling up his sleeves. He set the small rock to his arm, really thinking.

Could he go through this?

What would Frank think?

Would Frank be upset?

 _He wouldn't care,_ a voice in Gerard's head said, and he believes it. No one would care, they would be glad he was gone.

Gerard applied pressure. A familiar pain of the cut surfaced and Gerard smiled. It stung, and the rock wasn't as precise as metal would've been, so instead of a clean line, the wound was a bit torn. Gerard pulled the arrowhead straight down his forearm, then circling his wrist like a bracelet. He switched to the other arm, ignoring the dull sting, tearing another line in his flesh. Gerard cried hard as he finished. He already felt lightheaded. He felt like he should lie down. So he did. And now he lied on the floor, arms exposed to whatever God was there. Gerard was ready. He knew the second when the colors of the room became flashy. He knew he was going to pass out any second, but he was ready. Ready to face this death.

"I'm not o-fucking-kay!" He screamed a final goodbye. "My Chemical Romance!"

~*~

Frank, hearing Gerard's scream, ran to the cabin. He threw the door open, not seeing anyone inside.

"Gerard?" Frank called warily, and a feeling of dread pooled in his gut. He walked around a bed, only to see Gerard sprawled out on the floor, blood seeping from gashes on his arms.

Frank didn't think, he only ran to Gerard, cradling him in his lap. Frank was crying; he watched his tears fall on Gerard's face.

"No, no, no, no, no!" Frank cried, holding Gerard's shoulders.

Gerard mumbled incoherently, and his eyelids fluttered a bit. He's still alive, but he's barely breathing.

And Frank, for whatever reason, closed his eyes, praying to a god that he doesn't believe in.

Save Gerard. Please God, save my soul mate.

Frank opened his eyes, somehow expecting a miracle, only to be greeted with Gerard losing strength, falling completely limp in his lap.

"Gerard!" Frank shrieked, grabbing at Gerard's face. He feels Gerard's heart, beating, still beating. "You can't die!" Frank sucks in a breath. "You're my soul mate!"

Frank stares at Gerard's face, memorizing it, taking note of every detail and imperfection. He has to remember. He has to remember his soul mate. He will not forget Gerard.

Frank froze, feeling Gerard's heart slow... And stop. Frank's breath hitched, and he was crying hysterically.

This is a dream.

Gerard is not dead.

He can't die.

Gerard is still alive.

He did not kill himself.

Frank wailed in anguish, thinking of the irony.

Gerard died the way Frank would've, but while Frank's soul mate is what kept him alive, Gerard's is what killed him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I quoted Breakeven because I felt like it because that song is kind of a bit sad when paired like something like this. Heaven Help Us is still a great song for this and last chapter.
> 
> It's a bit short, but there you go. It's not even an alternate ending anymore, it's just pain. This chapter is pain.
> 
> I don't even have any funny notes to put here
> 
> Look at me I'm on a writing roll
> 
> It is kinda weird how I can write stuff like this, though. I think it's just because I love angst SO MUCH like srsly I'm so satisfied with angst it's really weird like 'yess break up and abandon him at the last moment yas'.... I'm weird
> 
> Hugs for those who survived this <3 and remember, this is just an alternate ending, we still have 4-5 chapter of this left! ^~^


	16. Hope

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whenever people say cookies for comments I get hungry and I go binge on cookies
> 
> My pineapple clock is still staying on time I'm so confused no one reset it or put new batteries in it, it just randomly started keeping the correct time again 0_o
> 
> Words of the day: Paradox, Oxymoron, Homophone, and palindrome  
> PALINDROMES ARE SICK AS FRICK  
> My favorite palindromes:  
> Harass Sarah (Sarah doesn't smile when you harass her)  
> Kanakanak (SYMMETRY)  
> Kinikinik (symmetry and it's in Colorado)  
> Llama mall (I though of Dan howell)  
> Some emos (aka me)  
> Test tube butt set (? I'm giggling like a 6 year old)
> 
> I personally do believe in spirits, I just wish they were more common because if I could use those little ghost talkie walkie thingies, I would totally chat with a ghostie.
> 
> Remember this takes place after chapter 14, like the alternate ending never happened. The suicide attempt did though

After Gerard was patched up, he curled into a ball and sobbed. He sobbed for himself. He sobbed for Mikey. He sobbed for Frank. But he didn't admit that to himself. Gerard stayed there for some time, eventually losing track as all the voices merged into  a hum. He held himself close, unmoving when someone touched him. The person shook his arm a bit, and Gerard refused to look up. When he did, he was greeted with Mikey, looking almost worse than he did.

"I'm sorry," Mikey whispered, and his voice was hoarse. "For everything I've ever done to hurt you."

Gerard shook his head.

"You weren't a part of any of this," Gerard said.

"Then what was? What caused you to... to... to hurt yourself?" Mikey asked with pleading eyes, and Gerard knew he wasn't going to stop crying for a while.

"What do you think?" Gerard asked. He wasn't going to say it, he was not going to say why he did this.

"Your soul mate?" Mikey asked, and Gerard sighed, it quickly turning into a sob.

Gerard started to mutter under his breath,

"You're all so happy, with your perfect halves. You have each other for support, and I know I have you, but it's not the same. I don't have the love, the real love, that everyone else gets. I'm just alone here."

"You're going to find your soul mate, Gee," Mikey said strongly, confident enough that Gerard believed it for a second. And then the hope was gone again.

Mikey and Gerard sat in silence, watching the teachers outside the cabin. They were shooing campers away and talking about Gerard. It made Gerard feel like he was put on a pedestal, and he didn't like it. Gerard had been so caught up in his thoughts that he didn't notice Patrick approaching.

"Gerard," Patrick began, "we've been notified of your destructive, and self harming behavior. We believe this is caused by your soul mate, or lack thereof. Because of this, we think it best to take you out of a pressured environment, and keep you isolated for a while. Being near those who have soulmates could be triggering you, and we need to know that. You will be place in a personal cabin, alone, for a week. If all goes well and we see absolutely zero signs of a possible relapse or trigger, you will return to this cabin. Am I understood?"

Gerard nodded, becoming choked up again. He would be alone, without his friends or his brother.

"Come on," Patrick gestured, and Gerard realised how distant and cold his eyes were.

Stumbling to his feet, Gerard followed him. He only tripped on two stumps, a Patrick and a tree.

When he was at the end of an unfamiliar trail, Patrick turned right, and he was greeted with a group of smaller cabins. There were a couple campers around, all looking depressed. Gerard wondered if he looked as hopeless as them. He was shaken out of thought when Patrick led him up a path to his own cabin.

"You will still attend your usual classes, and you will eat at every meal. You will be watched more now by the staff, so we know if you skip meals or don't show up to class. Please don't burn anything on the stove," Patrick's voice was empty, like these were practiced lines.

Gerard became aware that they probably were.

With his last words, Patrick shut the door, and Gerard was alone.

~*~

Gerard spent long amounts of time watching the walls and ceiling. It was the only thing he could do to keep occupied. He was supposed to be isolated, and he didn't feel like making friends with the zombies in the other personal cabins. He wanted to be alone.

Gerard felt his hope dripping away, like droplets out of a leaking tap. Slowly, steadily, he lost his hope. He couldn't find it. His friends probably hated him, he was obviously messed up in the head, and his soul mate had ruined his life. It was impossible to _keep_ hope in a world like Gerard's. So it drained away, and Gerard became a hopeless zombie, just like the rest.

Three days in to being alone, Gerard already felt like death. He had looked in the mirror and had seen the horrendous bags under his eyes, and his hollow his cheeks were. He even looked like death.

Going to classes was hard. Gerard often didn't have enough energy to walk quickly enough to get to class on time. He dragged his feet and his left knee kept randomly buckling. He really did resemble a zombie.

The first time his legs had gave out on him, he had let out a squeal, the first noise he had made sense being put in isolation. The boys nearby, Frank, Josh, Tyler, and Mikey, all turned towards him. Gerard simply got up, ignoring their curious, sad eyes, and going to class.

Even the animals avoided Gerard. Fluffles sat at a distance, refusing to sit with Gerard. When he had tried to pet her, she bit him and he moved as far from the class as he could.

He showed up to plants and medicines, but he didn't actually touch anything.

Same goes for bows and arrows.

In gathering, he wasn't fast enough to find materials or track animals. He was always too tired.

In quills, his hand was too shaky. He couldn't draw a straight line.

Gerard refused to do art. He refused to go near a canvas or touch paint. He didn't mold his clay and his papers stayed blank. He had no reason to draw, everything would come out messed up and distorted anyways. Gerard didn't even have a muse anymore. Nature had become boring, and he had no soul mate. There was nothing.

In music, Gerard don't speak. He didn't speak much anyways, because he wasn't supposed to talk much to those who could be triggering. Music was worse, though. He stayed in the corner, often sitting on a log or hiding behind a tree. He liked to sit and listen, and he didn't want to sing anymore. He was sure his voice was near dead now.

Mikey had tried many times to apologize and talk to Gerard. Gerard had always made an effort with Mikey, but as mentioned before, he didn't have much energy. Even talking made him ready to pass out.

After classes on his last day in isolation, Gerard hear voices in his cabin. Ray and Patrick.

"That's not a good idea. You've seen him!" Ray argued, and Gerard guessed they were talking about him.

"Exactly! You've seen how despaired he is. He need to know who his soul mate is!" Patrick argued back.

"This could ruin everything you realise? Make his health worse? Destroy his health too?"

"But it could also save him, and I want to take this risk," Patrick said confidently.

"No!" Ray replied, just as strongly. "We can not tell him who it is!"

"We have to! You've seen Gerard. And you've seen _him_ now that Gerard is gone. He will be good for Gerard," Patrick said.

Gerard was shocked.

Was that?

Did he really?

His soul mate was here, in camp.

And Gerard, for the first time in a week, hoped.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I couldn't resist putting a Patrick Stump thing in here
> 
> This chapter is only 9-10th grade level oh no why
> 
> I didn't use my binoculars to watch the eclipse, no, I watched a man in his house. I also took photos of my cat instead of the moon. That summarizes my attention span.
> 
> If I EVER get a boyfriend I swear to god I'm making him Disney movie marathon and cuddle with me  
> jk I'm never gonna actually get a boyfriend)  
> (


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been a while and I don't even have an excuse so meh I'm kinda sorry but not reallyish okay that's a lie I'm very sorry
> 
> Happy late birthday to Soulfire and LozzaBlueBell1
> 
> PEOPLE IN THE UK HOW DO I DRINK TEA ITS HOT I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO   
> It cooled down  
> The tea is addicting  
> It's peppermint mmmmm
> 
> ANYONE WHO HASNT HEARD OF THE PIGEON DETECTIVES IS MISSING OUT  
> like srsly no one has heard of them but they're like the fratellis and their songs make you wanna dance

Slowly, Gerard readjusted back into socialising. His friends were all accepting, backing off when needed and always being there for Gerard, except Frank. Frank stayed away most of the time. He was always on the opposite side of the class from Gerard, and his face was usually in an upset, sad, or angry expression. Gerard wondered what was making Frank so uncomfortable, but he couldn't bring himself to ask. He decided to bring it up with his friends in the cabin.

"Hey guys," Gerard called quietly. He instantly had all of their attention. "Why is Frank acting weird?"

Ryan shook his head.

"He's dealing with some things right now, and involving you won't help," Ryan said.

"Why me? Did I do something?" Gerard asked, worried he must have messed something up.

"No, well yes, but not you directly," Ryan explained. Gerard was still confused.

"I don't understand," Gerard whined softly, looking at his lap and angrily blinking away building tears.

"For a while, you won't. But one day you will," Josh added, touching Gerard's shoulder. Mikey came over too, slipping under Gerard's arm and hugging him. Despite Gerard's worry, he smiled and hugged Mikey back.

"When will I understand?" Gerard whispered, so quietly that he didn't think anyone heard him.

"You'll know," Josh simply supplied, walking outside with Ryan. Gerard frowned, grabbing his sketchbook and heading to the forest.

~*~

Lately, Frank found himself in the forest a lot. He always sat in the same spot he sat the first time, the one with Fun Ghoul and Party Poison. And they were always there. Beebo and Ryro always stayed next to each other, making smart ass remarks. Peterpanda and Kobra Kid goofed off a lot, but they tried to give Frank advice when he needed it. Spooky Jim somehow found a hamster, also named Spooky Jim, and held onto it. Only Blurryface was allowed to touch it. Blurryface was the only one who actually gave adequate advice out of the group. Fun Ghoul and Part Poison didn't contribute to the group at all. They were always kissing each other, cuddling, or giggling. It pained Frank to watch them do this when he couldn't have Gerard.

"Fuck off! I'm tired of your shit!" He screamed at them. Party Poison eyes widened and Fun Ghoul held him back again.

"Why don't you go tell your pretty boy that you're his soul mate. You wouldn't have a problem then," Fun Ghoul suggested. Frank shook his head.

"No way. I can't do that," Frank said.

"Why not?" Party Poison asked. "I love Ghoul, and Gerard will love you."

"That's the most positive thing I've ever heard you say baby," Fun Ghoul whispered, pulling Party Poison into a kiss.

Frank looked away, jealousy bubbling in his stomach.

"All you have to do is fucking tell him, Frank. It's not that hard," Party Poison added, before they all disappeared.

~*~

It was the middle of art class when Frank cried out. Gerard turned, setting his paintbrush down. Frank had dropped to the ground, and he lied there, pouting. He seemed near tears, but he wasn't crying.

"God fucking Damnit Frank, get up," Pete said, frowning at the upset little guy on the grass.

"Fuck you," Frank said, and it would've been more intimidating if he didn't look like a toddler in a tantrum.

"You're like five, I swear," Brendon added.

" _We're_ five?" Pete put his hand on his chest, and Brendon nodded.

"Whatever you say. You however," Pete touched Frank's face with his shoe and Franke wrinkled his nose, "are indeed five. And I'm still not taking no for an answer, Brendon."

"I'm not five, I am _seven_ ," Brendon corrected.

"Okay, seven, whatever, I don't care. Point is, Frank, you're a wuss."

"That has been confirmed," Frank nodded.

"And you're not going to do anything about it?" Pete asked, poking Frank's stomach with his shoe.

"Nope," Frank rolled over, so he was one his back, and he laughed.

"At least you're not crying," Brendon murmured.

"I wasn't crying!" Frank defended.

"You really were," Ryan said, putting an arm around Brendon's shoulder. Frank scoffed, staring at the clouds.

~*~

Ever since he had first heard the news, Gerard had been looking for his soul mate. He had slowly been narrowing it down in his head.

First the girls.

Then the couples. Obviously not.

Then, the ones he knew had different words.

After that, it was the ones who had an interest in someone. Easy to see when people stared at other people like zoo exhibits.

Lastly, it was ones Gerard had interest in. There weren't many. In fact, there weren't _any_. Sure, there was Lindsey from one of the cabins on the other side of the camp, but Patrick had said his soul mate was a 'he'.

That left him with nothing.

But Patrick had said his soul mate was here, and he believed it.

He wouldn't give up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hugged my crush and oh my GOD his HIPBONES 
> 
> This took a while because I'm so tired and I have no creativity school has drained my soul 
> 
> God Damnit I keep saying and thinking 'Gerard Iero' on accident  
> What has fanfiction done to me
> 
> I love candy corn
> 
> I saw 3 of my friends in the mall and I was too awkward to say hi to any of them
> 
> Frickin songs of the day: The End, Astro Zombies, and Boy Division Frickin playing on repeat in my head
> 
> I bought a floral fob shirt and it's too big for me but it's sooo cute
> 
> I am a certified doctor and I prescribe bagels for anyone who has writer's block
> 
> Oh my god guys my dad is baiting me he just took the cookies from the cupboard and left them in front of me jesus Christ he said, "there's ur dinner." He just left them here help 
> 
> NEXT CHAPTER IS THE CLIMAX OF THE STORY
> 
> God Damnit guys you have to tell me when ur birthdays are in _advance_ So I can update on them! I'd totally do that if I got a notice!


	18. Realizations Part 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I literally wrote a cute one shot and I highlighted it to copy and paste it, and I deleted the entire thing. I'm not gonna even try to rewrite it. 
> 
> So I randomly take out pieces of paper in English class and doodle on them and my teacher doesn't care at all. I fill the entire paper with sea creatures, or cursive letters, or my signature, or HALLOWEEN doodles. And no one cares. At all.  
> I actually drew a praying mantis today and I realised I don't know how to draw the legs so I drew a wavy line and named it spook. It is Spook the praying mantis ghost.

Gerard had been in constant worry. It had been a week, and no matter how many lists Gerard made, nothing matched up. No one was his soul mate. And this caused him to stress about it. Gerard began to become unfocused. He always found himself staring into space, and this had caused problems. In art, he messed up all of his work. In plants and medicine, he boiled the dye too long and dyed the pot. He had been banned from using the stove in his cabin. Gerard thought this was unnecessary, but he understood why they did it. He was very out of it.

He was also very confused. His soul mate was here, but he couldn't find him. Wouldn't he be like a beacon, drawing him near? Gerard didn't know, but that's how he thought it should be. At least, that's how it sounded with his friends.

His friends.

Gerard's friends had been nice and all, but they seemed to be keeping a secret. They always seemed to watch their mouth, and not overspeak. It worried Gerard how they looked cautious. Gerard was now in art class, painting some landscape. He wasn't exactly sure what it was. His mind was too busy going over the lost again.

Not Ryan or Brendon. Not Patrick or Ray. Not Pete, not Josh, and not Tyler. Not Lindsey, and not Jamia. Not Frank....

"Are you okay?" Ryan asked, seeing the alarmed look on Gerard's face.

"Oh my god," Gerard whispered, turning to Ryan. "Oh my god, oh my god, ohmygodohmygod _ohgodohgodohgod!_ " Gerard gradually got louder.

Ryan smiled fondly, knowing exactly what was going on.

Gerard's mind was a swirl. It was a mess. Frank? Could it be Frank? His soul mate? Frank?

"Ryan, Ryan! I know. I know. Oh my god, I am an absolute idiot!" Gerard hit his forehead.

He understood. He understood everything now.

The fleeting glance before the panic attack.

That interest begging in the back of his mind.

The talk they had the night of the pet ceremony.

 _Frank thinks I won't want him as my soulmate_.

Gerard couldn't decide who was the bigger idiot- Frank, or himself. Flashing back to real life, Gerard was aware of his name being called.

"Hey, Gerard," Josh called. "Did ya figure it out?"

Gerard nodded, putting his paints away, and grabbing his bag. Before he could leave, Ryan pulled him into a hug.

"You understood why I kept it a secret, right?" Ryan whispered in Gerard's ear.

"Yeah," Gerard whispered back.

"Okay," Ryan pulled away, "go tell him."

Gerard smiled, a big, genuine smile, as he ran through the class. Frank would be near the edge of the trees, as he always was, and it took a few minutes to get across the slightly crowded meadow. Art was a popular class, after all.

When Gerard finally caught sight of Frank's back, he moved faster, mumbling apologies as he bumped into people. Frank was oblivious to Gerard approaching, his back still turned.

Gerard stood about ten feet back, considering just straight up telling him. Before he could decide what to do, he had said it.

"Chemical," Gerard said.

Frank froze, and Gerard expected him to snap, but when he turned, that's not at all what he saw.

Frank was wide-eyed and shocked.

His eyes were the size of the moon, a sparkling hazel in the [nine in the] afternoon sun.

Gerard almost kissed him right there, almost.

He had to talk to Frank first.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My gym teacher finally let us do zumba and while I may have looked like an awkward idiot, I was an awkward idiot who was actually trying to follow the routine.  
> I hate Volleyball report: my self-confidence is only slightly bruised today 
> 
> I've been missing my shoes and my mom put them in my piano bag and that's why I couldn't find them?
> 
> I played my music assignment and I'm probably one of three kids that got an A. The saxophones butchered their scales, trumpets didn't change pitch, clarinet squeaked, and the drum players use the xylophone, which was also very butchered.
> 
> OMG THE KUDOS AND BOOKMARKS AND HITS AND OMG THANK U ALL SO MUCH IT MEANS SOOO MUCH TO ME OMG


	19. Realizations Part 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Freeze dried ice cream is the best and anyone who hasn't read Ender's Game needs to read it asap

"Gerard?" Frank asked warily, still frozen. He was shaking a bit, and he flinched when Gerard stepped forward.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Gerard frowned.

Frank didn't reply, looking to the ground instead.

"Why did you think I wouldn't love you?" Gerard asked. Frank shrugged slightly, refusing to meet Gerard's eyes.

"Why did you think I would want another soul mate?" Gerard tried again.

"Because I am a massive fuck up," Frank hissed, concentrating on controlling his tear ducts. Before Frank had even finished his sentence, Gerard jumped in,

"But you're not."

"Yes, I am. You don't even know the beginning of my story," Frank replied and there was a bitter edge to his voice. He was shutting himself down.

"Frank, don't shut yourself down on this," Gerard whispered.

"Why not? It's obvious that I'm not wanted."

"How? How is it obvious, Frank?" Gerard put his hands on his hips, and he noticed Frank glancing away quickly.

"You're here, so you must have figured it out, and you dont look happy. You looked sad and ready to murder me."

"I am ready to murder you, but not because I hate you."

"Then why? Why else would you murder someone besides hate?"

"Idiocy," Gerard replied, walking near Frank. He froze again.

Gerard gently took Frank's arm. Frank flinched a little, but he didn't say or do anything to make it stop. Gerard rolled his sleeve. Even without his word facing up, Gerard could clearly see the red lines covering his wrists. It made Gerard want to cry. Ever so carefully, Gerard turned his arm over.

Patrick and Ray had been right, it was near impossible to read.

There were scars buried upon scars littering those wrists. Gerard was overwhelmed with a sense of sadness and sympathy for Frank. He looked closely. He could see the edges of the ink, but it was hard to read the middle.

Once Gerard found the letters, he traced them lightly with his thumb.

"Chemical," Gerard whispered.

Frank shivered, and Gerard watched as his word was coated in gold. He then looked at Frank's wrists, only to see those horrible scars instantly fade. In their place, the cursive Chemical stayed.

"If- If- If y-You're diss-disappointed, it's o-ok. You can l-leave," Frank stuttered.

Gerard didn't miss the look of hope in Frank's eyes.

"I'm not going to leave you," Gerard said.

"But I-I'm so horrible," Frank said. Gerard shook his head.

"You still don't get it, do you?" Gerard said.

Frank frowned.

Gerard took the chance, quickly stepping forward and holding Frank's chin in his hand. Frank's eyes went wide, and he seemed a little scared. When Gerard moved his hand to stroke Frank's cheek, Frank finally understood. Gerard leaned close before pausing.

"Are you sure?" Frank asked.

Gerard knew what be meant.

He was asking if Gerard was sure about staying with Frank.

Gerard nodded, and before he could process anything, Frank's lips were on his. They were soft, and the kiss was sweet.

It was that perfect fairytale moment where the princess found her true love.

That's exactly what happened.

Gerard finally found his true love, and he couldn't think of a single person who would be a better fit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sheila and I almost got stuck in an elevator at the library. It was really freaky. So we were on the fourth floor, trying to go down to the first. The elevator stopped at the third floor, but no one was there. Sheila assumed it was someone who pressed the button and ran away. I'm not sure, it could've been a malfunction. So Sheila held the button to close the door. We started fine, before we were in between the floors. The elevator kinda made not really a grinding sound, but like a thump thump thump and then it stopped. And we were in between floors. I started freaking out a tiny bit. Sheila later told me she was worried about the elevator dropping, while i worried about getting stuck between floors. The elevator then began moving reeeaaalllly slowly. It was scary. As soon as we reached the second floor, the elevator started moving normal speed again, and we got out. Apparently, that's not the first time that that elevator has had problems. And what made this situation worse? The elevators are clear so we could see ourselves stuck like an animal in a zoo.


	20. Epilogue-ish kinda idk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if there's and mcr fan who doesn't make the reference 'I'm not okay' at least once a day, Idk what ur doing
> 
> What's great is that at my brothers karate there's a teenage boy who's working on being a sensei, but right now hes just senpai and I s2g I kinda wanna run over and yell "SENPAI NOTICE ME" but he'd probably kick me out of the dojo
> 
> My pineapple clock is STILL working and now in just confused. How did it reset? How is it keeping time? Are the season affecting it? Did my ghosts finally come through?? 
> 
> My schools Oktoberfest is tomorrow and that's great bc I don't have to wear my uniform and I don't have school tomorrow  
> Actually I have school Tuesday, Wednesday, and Friday next week, and then I have the rest of October off 
> 
> I drew little red and black stitches all over my hand in pen and spider web on the skin between my thumb and index finger and this kid looked at me and whispered, "emo."
> 
> This other kid speedwalked past me in the hall and said, "meme team" he then made a zoom noise and walked away

Frank and Gerard had been together for a week.

It had been the most perfect week of Gerard's life.

Frank had stayed near Gerard, knowing now that Gerard would never leave him. They had shared little kiss all throughout the first couple of days, seemingly never five feet away from each other. While they slowly got more comfortable being around each other, the butterflies never left and Gerard still felt frozen, the good kind of frozen, when Frank looked at him.

During the week, Frank had been super happy. He had been giggling and smiling and running around. He had held Gerard's hand a lot, swinging it obnoxiously to make Gerard laugh. He had snuck into Gerard's cabin twice in the night to sleep with him. They had cuddled when the others left and whispered all night long.

Frank was still in awe of his clear wrists. He told Gerard he would never mark them again, and that they would stay empty forever. Gerard believed him, too. Since Gerard had kissed Frank, Frank hadn't said one negative thing about life. Even when they had a writing test in quills.

Gerard had been doing cute coupley things in their classes, too. In animal taming, Gerard had pulled Frank into his lap and wrapped his arms around Frank's waist. Frank had giggled, and Gerard kissed the back of his neck. Frank shivered at the felling, leaning into Gerard. In art, Gerard had painted an abstract heart, with one half labeled 'Frank' and the other 'Gerard'. Gerard knew how cliche he was being, but that just made it all the better.

Their friends had been super supportive, too. Mikey had jumped onto Gerard in a hug, and then glared at Frank to make sure he wasn't going to break Gerard's heart. Gerard thought his brother was being dramatic, but Mikey felt it necessary. Ryan and Brendon had been 'aww'ing and marveling at them. Gerard blushed whenever Ryan made a comment to Brendon about him, but Frank usually just smirked. Tyler and Josh were really happy for them, and they began hanging out a lot again. Tyler even took Frank to the woods in music, and Frank came back with a song written for Gerard. Pete always made mock faces and sarcastic remarks when they acted like a cliche couple. It was all so great.

At the end of the first week, Patrick came over.

"Congratulations, Gerard, Frank," he smiled. "I came over here to tell you guys that while you're welcome to stay as long as you want, you can also leave. You have your soulmates, you have your friends, and all your friends have soulmates. I think it's time to get back in the real world guys. See ya." Patrick then left, and Gerard and Frank sat, thinking.

"Was it bad for you?" Gerard asked, and Frank knew what he meant.

"Yeah, it really was."

"Okay. But I'll always be with you."

"I know."

"So do you wanna-?"

"I guess," Frank shrugged.

~*~

Gerard and Frank packed slowly. They really didn't want to leave. It was so calm and peaceful at the camp, not to mention leaving Ghoul and Fluffles behind. The world outside was terrifying. There were hateful people in the world. The camp was a place to stay away.

But Gerard and Frank knew they couldn't stay. They had been here long enough, taking up space and resources. It was time to leave.

Frank grabbed his bag in one hand, Gerard's hand in his other, and together they walked out of the cabin for the last time.

Together, they walked out of the Soul Camp, and into the real world.

~*~*~*~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HELP ME THE BACKGROUND ON MY KINDLE LOCK SCREEN WAS A WOMAN AND THE NEW UPDATE LETS THE AD MOVE AND I FREAKED THE FRICK OUT 
> 
> I just read the milk fic but I'm only like 35% horrified, not as bad as I thought it would be
> 
> This has been a fun ride guys and I hope you like the final result!!!
> 
> ~Bells <3


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